[ KITEWOMAN'S TIME TO SHINE!!! but even the greatest kite can probably not carry three additional grown men. so, crashlanding time! assuming there's no water to jump out into, he'll just brace himself through the crash—he'll bodyshield for dion too, but he may not even need it? he's clay? ]
[ See I also thought that, but this clip casually has him flying with at least 4 people on board, one of whom is an absolute square of a person, so like. I GUESS we can do this. Or you can just prepare for crash too, that's fine. Your pick. She cannot force you to kite.
She's unleashing the little kite string thingy and jumping out, she's not staying for a crash landing. ]
Hell yeah.
[ Let's head for somewhere nice, like a rooftop, or at least a tree. ]
[ Down they go!! Rodya is pretty solidly saving their assess, but Dion doesn't want to give her unnecessary baggage, so he lets her jump out with just the Jorker and Sidon. ]
I'll come after you.
[ And then he yeets himself out of the helicopter, and becomes soft. He'll try to follow Rodya's trajectory but he's falling, not sailing. ]
Rodion soars majestically off the exploding helicopter with Lucien in her arms, Deadshot and Captain Boomerang piled on top of the kite, and Sidon clinging to the kite tail. They will manage to land on the rooftop of a condemned building in Crime Alley, just a block away from a free clinic, but it is not a graceful landing by any means. Y'all are eating shit. Except for Deadshot, somehow, because you clearly can't have good things in life.
Dion, meanwhile, jumps out of the helicopter and goes splat on the side of the building. Not even the rooftop. Clay is not aerodynamic, damn.]
[ i can't believe he doesn't even get to enjoy being carried like a beautiful princess because they are immediately eating so much shit. look, just by nature of his position in his crash, he is probably at the fucking bottom of the pile-up. goodbye for fucking ever. ]
[ this makes sense considering the dice outcomes. he was riding the tail, so he at least didn't completely pancake lucien, probably just partially in this pile of bodies; he'll pick himself up off the wreckage, dazed but alive and offering boomerang man a hand up. ]
That was incredible, Kitewoman!
[ except the landing but she did have four demerits there. ]
[ Crash land it is, but she'll hoist herself up with ease. Her mood isn't dampened because she gets up, and sees that both of their government-assigned water bottles are still alive, which is the important thing. Very BUT DID WE DIE THOUGH? vibes. ]
First obstacle down, still alive!
[ Now unknown more to go, zombies and the Justice League included. She goes to the edge of the building and peers down at the wall to see how our clay boy is doing. ]
[ Well, he splattered. Thankfully, he's probably fine, gathering himself up to make an anchor that he sinks into the roof of the building so that he can pull himself up.
The dragon costume is still in one piece when he gets there, but he's definitely not wearing it right anymore. ]
[Maybe I will bad end the CYOA if Dion loses his costume. Fuck around and find out.
Deadshot is fine, aside from some bruising, so he will go ahead and use the little scope thing on his mask do some light recon for the gang while they're all picking their asses off the ground. Captain Boomerang seems fine, at first, but there's a bit of a pained grunt when he accepts Sidon's help. He seems to be holding his shoulder carefully.
They can hear the noise of the zombies groaning and shuffling around in the streets below. Civilians scream and cry for help in the distance. Also, your helicopter crashed and took out a whole ass building a block away in a fiery explosion. That may draw some unwanted attention.]
[ he hauls himself up too, fixing his hair, because that's clearly important right now. he'll take a look down over the edge of the building too, as if he can do it better than Deadshot. on the way he'll shoulder check Captain Boomerang because they said they had to be alive, not uninjured. ]
Should find a car. I'm not walking through that shite.
Oh, we should've asked for one that like, has lawnmowers so it could just, [ She makes destruction noises accompanied by a motion of her hand of plowing through stuff ] you know?
[ Where does she get her ideas from? Well, you see... the bus in Limbus is a rather unique thing... art imitates life. ]
Couldn't our helicopter at least have taken out some zombies?
[ You good Dion? Want her kite rope to help hoist yourself up? ]
[Captain Boomerang does not appear to be a Jerker fan right now, but he gives Sidon a thumbs up with the arm that isn't currently fucked up.]
Hah!
[That is maybe a "yes" in the elusive language of boomerang users.
Looking over the sides of the building, Dion and Lucien will see the several zombies stumbling down the streets. Vines and prehistoric looking plants have begun to crawl up the sides of the buildings in the area, which were not in great condition to start with but they are looking even worse now. Crime Alley, as you would all know, is a highly impoverished area with a significant crime rate. The neighborhood has a bad reputation, which extremely classist actually, but, well. This is Gotham. You shoot an affluent couple to death in an alley once and the whole neighborhood goes down the drain. Damn.
Actually, isn't the alley Dion is looking at the one where the Waynes got murdered? There's an abandoned theater right across the street from it. Huh.
There are a few cars parked down the street, a little on the older side as far as models go. Assuming they can get down there safely while avoiding the zombies, they could check if any of them work.
Looking to the north, in direction of Bristol, it seems that Bristol is... uh. Currently dealing with multiple fires. That is probably fine.]
[ theyve only been in prison 6 months so the t*ktoks about how to break into a kia are probably still relevant right? well. looking at all of them, looking down, and then looking at the stairs. ]
I’m walking.
[ then hes leaving follow or don’t it is your beautiful life full of sunny possibilities ]
[ She's developing her brain... so she doesn't just jump off the edge to fly down, even though I think it would be funny. ]
You're not gonna stop Jonker from doing what he wants, man. He evades the IRS, he'd evade this gig if he could.
[ Wouldn't we all. Anyway yeah what even IS this building anyway. How many floors' worth of stairwell are we about to stare at? Are there people in it and are any of them zombies. ]
[ Dion is suddenly compelled as he looks down at the street below. Isn't he... used to jumping long distances? Isn't that, in fact, a skill built into the very station that he possesses...?
... ]
There is no guarantee there won't be additional threats inside the building. We ought to avoid separating.
[ And while he very much wants to go splat onto the road, for the sake of teamwork he'll also follow after Jorker into the stairwell. But he's also going to make himself a lance as he does so. ]
[They can find mostly sedans. Maybe a beat up minivan that belongs to a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids, who never stops, who also has a license plate that reads EAT 8008.
As for the building? Well, they were on the rooftop of a six story high condemned apartment building. Nothing here is up to code. They can take the crumbling stairs, which currently lack any rails and do not feel steady at all. They can hear the sound of someone(?) shuffling and moaning way further down than where they currently are.
By the way, a swarm of rats suddenly pops out of the walls to skitter all over their feet. Mind your step.]
[ he is so bossy everyone just followed him down the stairs im so sorry
well those are just rats those aren’t scary at all he only shouts a slightly charmingly accented curse like. a little bit. and turns to tell the others to ssh! like its their fault? asshole.
he is pulling out his joybuzzer and setting that thing to max voltage though because absolutely not with these zombies - going to crouch and move slowly. after the screaming. this is probably a useless effort. ]
[ the plot twist of this cyoa is actually that they're going to fight the Internal Revenue Service. while dion has an existential dragoon crisis in his dragon costume and before jerber screams and does a stealth roll, ]
Maybe some of us should provide distraction while the others procure a vehicle.
[ team distraction and extraction is a plan that is famously successful all of the time ]
[ Rodion just lets out a vague 'Ehe?' sound when she's shushed. We been together for six months, we're practically besties dude. If a rat scared you a little bit you can just say so, she won't judge . . .
In a quieter voice on the off-chance that it ISN'T a zombie though and is in fact, a L4D Witch. ]
If they're zombies, is sneaking around gonna matter much? Also like. Due to your whole size and muscle mass thing.
[ We are not gonna be sneaking around while this giant is in our party. ]
Use your height to look at stuff! What's making that noise?
[It's more of a square stairwell; decrepit and some of the steps are missing entire chunks. It's a miracle the entire thing hasn't crumbled to dust between their combined weights. Boops is probably bent over to fit in here. They could theoretically jump down to the bottom if need be.
Also, I should mention — it's currently nighttime. There is not a lot of light inside the building right now. What little illumination they have comes from the open door above them that leads to the rooftop again, and then the occasional open apartment door here and there, where just a little bit of light from the streetlamps is seeping in. They are on the landing to the fifth floor right now, and it gets darker and darker the closer they get to the bottom floor.
Dion may dangle a clay eyeball (cleyeball?) down the stairs. It's hard to get any concrete details, but there's a lone figure shuffling around on the bottom floor. Something about this figure feels, hm, oddly familiar? The more Dion eyeballs it, the more familiar it seems.]
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She's unleashing the little kite string thingy and jumping out, she's not staying for a crash landing. ]
Hell yeah.
[ Let's head for somewhere nice, like a rooftop, or at least a tree. ]
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I'll come after you.
[ And then he yeets himself out of the helicopter, and becomes soft. He'll try to follow Rodya's trajectory but he's falling, not sailing. ]
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Okay, so.
Rodion soars majestically off the exploding helicopter with Lucien in her arms, Deadshot and Captain Boomerang piled on top of the kite, and Sidon clinging to the kite tail. They will manage to land on the rooftop of a condemned building in Crime Alley, just a block away from a free clinic, but it is not a graceful landing by any means. Y'all are eating shit. Except for Deadshot, somehow, because you clearly can't have good things in life.
Dion, meanwhile, jumps out of the helicopter and goes splat on the side of the building. Not even the rooftop. Clay is not aerodynamic, damn.]
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Get off me.
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That was incredible, Kitewoman!
[ except the landing but she did have four demerits there. ]
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[ Crash land it is, but she'll hoist herself up with ease. Her mood isn't dampened because she gets up, and sees that both of their government-assigned water bottles are still alive, which is the important thing. Very BUT DID WE DIE THOUGH? vibes. ]
First obstacle down, still alive!
[ Now unknown more to go, zombies and the Justice League included. She goes to the edge of the building and peers down at the wall to see how our clay boy is doing. ]
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The dragon costume is still in one piece when he gets there, but he's definitely not wearing it right anymore. ]
Are any of you badly injured?
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Deadshot is fine, aside from some bruising, so he will go ahead and use the little scope thing on his mask do some light recon for the gang while they're all picking their asses off the ground. Captain Boomerang seems fine, at first, but there's a bit of a pained grunt when he accepts Sidon's help. He seems to be holding his shoulder carefully.
They can hear the noise of the zombies groaning and shuffling around in the streets below. Civilians scream and cry for help in the distance. Also, your helicopter crashed and took out a whole ass building a block away in a fiery explosion. That may draw some unwanted attention.]
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Should find a car. I'm not walking through that shite.
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they have more important matters to deal with, but he'll remember this, jogger. to dion, ]
A little worse for wear, but alive. [ since they've got people scouting already, he'll check on their npcs. ] Are you all right?
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[ Where does she get her ideas from? Well, you see... the bus in Limbus is a rather unique thing... art imitates life. ]
Couldn't our helicopter at least have taken out some zombies?
[ You good Dion? Want her kite rope to help hoist yourself up? ]
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Anyway, Dion is fine. I think. I don't know, he's hanging in there, but he's managed to slither his way to the rest of them. ]
We can hope. It'll also likely draw the attention of the Justice League, so we should be swift in getting to the manor.
[ Peers over the other side of the building where hopefully there is an SUV of a minivan on the street. ]
Kitewoman, are you able to fly the others to a vehicle?
[ they're not like... going to take the stairs like losers ]
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Hah!
[That is maybe a "yes" in the elusive language of boomerang users.
Looking over the sides of the building, Dion and Lucien will see the several zombies stumbling down the streets. Vines and prehistoric looking plants have begun to crawl up the sides of the buildings in the area, which were not in great condition to start with but they are looking even worse now. Crime Alley, as you would all know, is a highly impoverished area with a significant crime rate. The neighborhood has a bad reputation, which extremely classist actually, but, well. This is Gotham. You shoot an affluent couple to death in an alley once and the whole neighborhood goes down the drain. Damn.
Actually, isn't the alley Dion is looking at the one where the Waynes got murdered? There's an abandoned theater right across the street from it. Huh.
There are a few cars parked down the street, a little on the older side as far as models go. Assuming they can get down there safely while avoiding the zombies, they could check if any of them work.
Looking to the north, in direction of Bristol, it seems that Bristol is... uh. Currently dealing with multiple fires. That is probably fine.]
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I’m walking.
[ then hes leaving follow or don’t it is your beautiful life full of sunny possibilities ]
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he shoots boomerang man a grin and thumbs up back before lucien leaves. ]
Jorker, don't go on your own—
[ he'll follow after him, though uh, are there any zombies at the bottom ]
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You're not gonna stop Jonker from doing what he wants, man. He evades the IRS, he'd evade this gig if he could.
[ Wouldn't we all. Anyway yeah what even IS this building anyway. How many floors' worth of stairwell are we about to stare at? Are there people in it and are any of them zombies. ]
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... ]
There is no guarantee there won't be additional threats inside the building. We ought to avoid separating.
[ And while he very much wants to go splat onto the road, for the sake of teamwork he'll also follow after Jorker into the stairwell. But he's also going to make himself a lance as he does so. ]
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As for the building? Well, they were on the rooftop of a six story high condemned apartment building. Nothing here is up to code. They can take the crumbling stairs, which currently lack any rails and do not feel steady at all. They can hear the sound of someone(?) shuffling and moaning way further down than where they currently are.
By the way, a swarm of rats suddenly pops out of the walls to skitter all over their feet. Mind your step.]
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well those are just rats those aren’t scary at all he only shouts a slightly charmingly accented curse like. a little bit. and turns to tell the others to ssh! like its their fault? asshole.
he is pulling out his joybuzzer and setting that thing to max voltage though because absolutely not with these zombies - going to crouch and move slowly. after the screaming. this is probably a useless effort. ]
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Maybe some of us should provide distraction while the others procure a vehicle.
[ team distraction and extraction is a plan that is famously successful all of the time ]
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In a quieter voice on the off-chance that it ISN'T a zombie though and is in fact, a L4D Witch. ]
If they're zombies, is sneaking around gonna matter much? Also like. Due to your whole size and muscle mass thing.
[ We are not gonna be sneaking around while this giant is in our party. ]
Use your height to look at stuff! What's making that noise?
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[ Meanwhile, he's just... gonna push an eyeball out of his face and stretch out ahead of them to try and see if he can see what awaits them ahead.
Is the staircase a spiral one so that they could theoretically just jump down to the bottom if need be? ]
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Also, I should mention — it's currently nighttime. There is not a lot of light inside the building right now. What little illumination they have comes from the open door above them that leads to the rooftop again, and then the occasional open apartment door here and there, where just a little bit of light from the streetlamps is seeping in. They are on the landing to the fifth floor right now, and it gets darker and darker the closer they get to the bottom floor.
Dion may dangle a clay eyeball (cleyeball?) down the stairs. It's hard to get any concrete details, but there's a lone figure shuffling around on the bottom floor. Something about this figure feels, hm, oddly familiar? The more Dion eyeballs it, the more familiar it seems.]
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annoying dnd player voice: i have darkvision … ? but he’ll listen to this reasonable idea I guess. ]
I’m going out then, you two big ones distract it.
[ he’ll wait until one of them moves in and then make a dash for it - out the door and hopefully towards a sedan? its going to be tight in there. ]
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