[ woah, fast for a rich boy. but not fast enough—or maybe too lost in his mind and madness to fight at his best, trying to save his parents who died ages past.
the zombies are surprisingly frail for the amount of devastation they cost, coming apart with very little effort on his part once he's stumbled upon them. and rodya's axe does bruce in, precisely timed and perfectly violent.
so that's done with.
though some of that zombie bile that they'd puked up on him did splash on his wrist, which is different. different in that a sapling bud or two tries to push out from under his scales there, blooming up into cute little leaves. it would probably hurt if he weren't on fish roids. just like what happened to link.
[ She's going to unclip her walkie-talkie real quick to speak into it. ]
We got your Wayne guy.
[ Well, he might not be DEAD yet quite, but she's going to go for a second hit to actually take off his arm. Just in case they need him barely alive to shut down the zombo operation, but she needs him not able to push any panic buttons he's got on his person.
—Ah, and Sidon, too. ]
Sorry about this, but hold still -- !
[ I GUESS SHE'S JUST ON ARM CHOPPING DUTY GET OVER HERE FISH BOY ]
[ THANKS FOR TAKING OUT BRUCE GUYS idk how lucien got past the glass of the clock but if there's no simple way to lift it off Dion will just turn one of his hands into a hammer and smash through it so lucien can adjust the arms. ]
[The little glass lid can be lifted pretty easily, actually, so Dion and Lucien won't have any issues dealing with that. There is another clock on the desk that they can reference for the time; this is a study after all, which is something that I forgot to mention in my half-asleep daze last night.
Once Lucien moves the hands to 10:47, something clicks behind the clock and there is a mechanical whirring before the clock slides to the left by itself to reveal a secret passageway behind it. From here, they can see a staircase leading to a basement level. A faint green glow emanates from further below.
Sonya's voice comes through the walkie talkie, confirming that your water bottles are still alive if nothing else:]
The zombies are still active. Did you kill him?
[And, well, Bruce isn't dead — yet. But with the axe wound on his back that cleaved through his spine, he's unable to move when Rodion goes for a double tap and takes off his arm. Blood is starting to pool around him in a steadily growing puddle. The watch continues beeping while Bruce Wayne bleeds out on the floor, his gaze stuck on his parents' rotting corpses.
lucien is already plotting how to burn down this house, swiveling a glare at the walkie talkie but he ain't answering that. impatient! he doesn't wait before he just heads down the stairs. it's fine. what's the worst that could happen, his head could blow up? ]
[ wow bruce is really not doing so hot. probably serves him right though. i don't have any sad rich boy meta because i'm sleepy
anyway, he should just let rodya do her work, but the instant her axe even skims a scale he's going to try and take a swipe at her instead, tail lashing like a startled cat. ]
[ Cool, great, she can only barely reach at her walkie-talkie while she tries to deal with angry shark. She'd check that beeping watch but once again, STARTLED SHARK. ]
Working on it -- might be a slow process, bleeding out as we speak!
[ Over! Since she has to dodge Sidon swiping at her. Which she somehow does, because it was a 10 vs 5. And then she is going to counter-strike. It was a nat20. I am sorry. I'm not going to decide anything for you though feel free to do what you feel is appropriate here.
Btw while Plonker and Glonper are going down the basement maybe she can catch them by shouting loud enough? ]
RICH MAN DOWN!!! GOOPS GOOPS COME GET YOUR BESTIE PLEASE HE GOT VOMMED ON!!!
[Correct. There haven't been any other signs of life in the manor. It's perhaps a little concerning because there are other people who live in Wayne Manor, including a a little kid, but they're just not here.
Heading downstairs, the Hunker and Schrodinger's Goops Goops will find that the passageway shifts from an entirely manmade tunnel to that of a cavern the further down the go. They start to hear the chittering of bats soon enough, before they find themselves walking out of the tunnel into... this. The first thing they likely notice is the giant fucking penny resting against the cave wall, partially hidden behind some sort of armory set-up.
The second thing they likely notice are the costumes kept behind glass cases. Robin, Batgirl and, something that sparks a memory of getting arrested by an asshole in this exact costume six months ago, Batman.
The green glow seems to be coming from somewhere just a little further down.
Brucie continues bleeding on the floor. Alexa, play Desbatcito.]
[ Okay, first of all, this is one of the neatest iterations of the Batcave. Second of all, Goop Whoops definitely hears Rodya screaming loud enough for the entire estate to hear, his head jerking back toward the entrance of the cave.
With regret, ] Boops...
[ As much as he's duty bound, he can't leave Kitewoman to deal with that alone, especially since they don't... appear to be in much danger?
He glances back at Junker. ]
Do not be hasty. I will return anon.
[ And then he jogs up the steps, but hopefully Sidon and Rodya are already roid running this way. ]
[ yeah they can roid run into the hallway near the clock, we've got places to be, my guys. with a NAT FUCKING 20, it's safe to assume to the axe. hits his arm. maybe he's not even dodging it, it just hits his arm hard and takes it clean off. it's almost refreshing compared to the start of pain from where some leafy, sealike foliage was starting to grow out of his skin though. thanks, rodya!!
but roids are a mistake and he doesn't even seem to flinch at all the blood or anything else, just persisting to attack her because why not! what a good time. hope they roid rumble down the stairs and into dion. ]
[ COOL YEAH THEY CAN SCUFF AND TUMBLE RIP BRUCIE. IDK WHAT THIS 9 VS 11 AND 6 VS 1 TRANSLATES TO EXACTLY BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT WE'RE CAUSING TOTAL CHAOS UP IN HERE. Idk maybe we really can end up killing Bruce for real because she dropped her axe or Sidon fell on him.
I don't know they are really going at it, I guess they can simply stumble their way out while fighting. Rodya can sort of try to guide them through the mansion while she tries to figure out just where the hyuck Pombler and Goopler have gone.
Maybe this results in them falling down the stairs. Maybe they will simply crash right into Dion as he emerges to help, and we can Katamari Damacy our way right into Lucien.
royce 🫀💔 rotisserie chicken — Yesterday at 23:07 well you see, we were breaking out of clownham earlier and there was this jester guarding the jokepoint and two other booboos in bozogate who couldnt get their collars off and right as we got recruited to the kookoo squad this goddamn bongillionaire used his zombo ultimate and took over the city. terrible day
[Following the green glow, Lucien can take the stairs past the costume cases down to one of the lower levels. It's there that he will find the source of all the green: the withered husk of a plant creature, currently strapped to a gurney. Pretend the creature looks super fucked up and drained in that image. There are several tubes and machines hooked up to the creature; they seem to be extracting some sort of glowing green substance through the tubes, which disappear into a shaft in the cave wall.
The creature itself is still alive, but just barely. It trashes around weakly when it hears any sort of noise from upstairs.]
Did you... come back for more, motherfucker...? Let me— Let me at you... I'll fucking kill you...
[ as of right now lucien is completely unaware of his impending katamari fate, because someone’s gotta get clown ass shit done around here. there’s a very long moment where he looks at the joybuzzer and then at the creature like he’s trying to decide if just brain blasting this guy would handily solve the problem so much more quickly and without having to have any pesky emotions about it.
but he manages to scrape the barrel on the barest amount of human decency and goes to just destroy the machines and tubes with whatever around looks heavy and Swingable (its the batcave afterall theres maybe a weapon around??) to try and free what is, in theory, the victim in this scenario. ]
[ omg we're all wound together... katamari is actually something that can be so personal 🥺
In any case, his eyes go wide at Bloops' missing arm. ]
No—
[ He's in the process of wrapping a clay restraint around Sidon to keep him from attacking further when the two of them crash into them, so the clay ends up winding around all of them, fusing them into some sort of ball... a ball that gets bigger the more it absorbs things...
They can roll their way down to the lower level I guess!! ]
[ the hilarious timing of how he's probably shrinking a little because the venom is more or less working out of his system. everything's still a bit hazy and he wants to fight rodya some more because sorry about your life and your dead parents and your house, bruce, but this is fun.
instead they are going down the stairs! they are on their way, gorber baby! he's put in a clay swaddle and he's trying to pull it off like peeling gum off a bench, but he only has the one arm to work with and now they're
[ Honestly Rodya is fine with a good fight but everything is happening so much. Unfortunately, her delusion backstory didn't give her the excuse of being axe-crazy. She's just delusional is all it is.
I don't know how we did it but we out-Limbus'd in terms of insanity. She is just (muffled yelling) as they bounce down the stairs and straight into the Batcave. Batbasement. Maybe they can be 2% useful by just so happening to crash into the requisite machinery.
Her axe probably flies out of her hands at some point during this fall if Alli really wants that axe meme. ]
[They sure are in the Batcave! There is a surplus of heavy and swingable things just laying around for Lucien to use. Whatever green stuff was already in transit goes spilling everywhere after he smashes up the tubes and machinery, and plants start sprouting from the puddles left behind.
The creature is not looking good and might be on its last legs anyway. It's all shriveled up and gray.]
[ Rodya’s axe goes flying out of her hands and whizzes right by lucien’s head and thunks into a machine. ]
What in all seven hells are you people doing! I’m supposed to be the fucking lunatic here! I’m the ONLY REAL MADMAN HERE!
[ then he’ll grab the handle of the axe as if he plans to yank it out and join the fray, forgetting he’s got the joybuzzer. Because we’re working on Zelda logic, electricity will shoot through it, overloading a machine and sending it exploding into shrapnel. Hooray!
[ sorry to joxxer, our manic pixie madman, and also this poor dying plant but there is a very large clay katamari pile that goes splat into the room after bouncing like a pinball down the batcave.
[ Splat. Rodya's head is just sticking out of it and she has this exact expression. ]
We're challenging your title, Clownman. Hey, who's this guy?
[ She will just wrestle an arm out from Goopman's embrace to get at her walkie-talkie. She is definitely bleeding from fending off a feral shark and whatever else but whatever, she's fought through worse. ]
There's a withered plant guy in his basement. Who is also dying, I think. Are the zombies gone? Can we go yet?
The plant is so startled by the explosions and the Jonker and also the sharknado Katamari ball that it straight up dies. Just dies. Bye.
There's a moment of silence through the walkie talkies before Sonya's baffled voice comes through:]
... Confirmed. The zombies have started to collapse as of ten seconds ago. Bring the plant with you and let's rendezvous at the cemetery. I've requested an evac.
[They are free to go. Hell yeah.
Now that your mission is complete, what does your grand exit look like?]
[ well he is bleeding profusely because his back is coated in shrapnel, but he seems to be totally ignoring all that in favor of going to dig through the batcave for anything at all that can set this place alight.
He will at least wait semi-politely for the others to grab the plant corpse and exit but he is setting this place ablaze. we can potentially all walk out not looking back at a raging fire like really cool guys … ]
[ give him a second to congeal back into a person-shaped gloop
anyway, the dragon cosplay makes literally no sense as he's wearing it now, but he's mostly focused on the fact that boops is missing an arm. jerker can set the place on fire, and hopefully fitewoman will retrieve the plant, as dion sacrifices his remaining wing to stem droops' bleeding and help him up so they can limp out of this manor before it goes up in flames. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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the zombies are surprisingly frail for the amount of devastation they cost, coming apart with very little effort on his part once he's stumbled upon them. and rodya's axe does bruce in, precisely timed and perfectly violent.
so that's done with.
though some of that zombie bile that they'd puked up on him did splash on his wrist, which is different. different in that a sapling bud or two tries to push out from under his scales there, blooming up into cute little leaves. it would probably hurt if he weren't on fish roids. just like what happened to link.
—or, who? ]
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We got your Wayne guy.
[ Well, he might not be DEAD yet quite, but she's going to go for a second hit to actually take off his arm. Just in case they need him barely alive to shut down the zombo operation, but she needs him not able to push any panic buttons he's got on his person.
—Ah, and Sidon, too. ]
Sorry about this, but hold still -- !
[ I GUESS SHE'S JUST ON ARM CHOPPING DUTY GET OVER HERE FISH BOY ]
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Once Lucien moves the hands to 10:47, something clicks behind the clock and there is a mechanical whirring before the clock slides to the left by itself to reveal a secret passageway behind it. From here, they can see a staircase leading to a basement level. A faint green glow emanates from further below.
Sonya's voice comes through the walkie talkie, confirming that your water bottles are still alive if nothing else:]
The zombies are still active. Did you kill him?
[And, well, Bruce isn't dead — yet. But with the axe wound on his back that cleaved through his spine, he's unable to move when Rodion goes for a double tap and takes off his arm. Blood is starting to pool around him in a steadily growing puddle. The watch continues beeping while Bruce Wayne bleeds out on the floor, his gaze stuck on his parents' rotting corpses.
Good luck dealing with Sidon, Rodion.]
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lucien is already plotting how to burn down this house, swiveling a glare at the walkie talkie but he ain't answering that. impatient! he doesn't wait before he just heads down the stairs. it's fine. what's the worst that could happen, his head could blow up? ]
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[ Completely unaware that his prison bestie is in dire straits.
But he'll go down with horker, once again materializing a lance in case they find any shenanigans. ]
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anyway, he should just let rodya do her work, but the instant her axe even skims a scale he's going to try and take a swipe at her instead, tail lashing like a startled cat. ]
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Working on it -- might be a slow process, bleeding out as we speak!
[ Over! Since she has to dodge Sidon swiping at her. Which she somehow does, because it was a 10 vs 5. And then she is going to counter-strike. It was a nat20. I am sorry. I'm not going to decide anything for you though feel free to do what you feel is appropriate here.
Btw while Plonker and Glonper are going down the basement maybe she can catch them by shouting loud enough? ]
RICH MAN DOWN!!! GOOPS GOOPS COME GET YOUR BESTIE PLEASE HE GOT VOMMED ON!!!
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Heading downstairs, the Hunker and Schrodinger's Goops Goops will find that the passageway shifts from an entirely manmade tunnel to that of a cavern the further down the go. They start to hear the chittering of bats soon enough, before they find themselves walking out of the tunnel into... this. The first thing they likely notice is the giant fucking penny resting against the cave wall, partially hidden behind some sort of armory set-up.
The second thing they likely notice are the costumes kept behind glass cases. Robin, Batgirl and, something that sparks a memory of getting arrested by an asshole in this exact costume six months ago, Batman.
The green glow seems to be coming from somewhere just a little further down.
Brucie continues bleeding on the floor. Alexa, play Desbatcito.]
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he’ll look back over his shoulder at dion when he gets called for - but he’s not stopping. ]
Go if you want to. I’m going to burn this.
[ fuck that batguy. he’ll head further in, watching for anything with that same green glow. ]
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With regret, ] Boops...
[ As much as he's duty bound, he can't leave Kitewoman to deal with that alone, especially since they don't... appear to be in much danger?
He glances back at Junker. ]
Do not be hasty. I will return anon.
[ And then he jogs up the steps, but hopefully Sidon and Rodya are already roid running this way. ]
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but roids are a mistake and he doesn't even seem to flinch at all the blood or anything else, just persisting to attack her because why not! what a good time. hope they roid rumble down the stairs and into dion. ]
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I don't know they are really going at it, I guess they can simply stumble their way out while fighting. Rodya can sort of try to guide them through the mansion while she tries to figure out just where the hyuck Pombler and Goopler have gone.
Maybe this results in them falling down the stairs. Maybe they will simply crash right into Dion as he emerges to help, and we can Katamari Damacy our way right into Lucien.
well you see, we were breaking out of clownham earlier and there was this jester guarding the jokepoint and two other booboos in bozogate who couldnt get their collars off and right as we got recruited to the kookoo squad this goddamn bongillionaire used his zombo ultimate and took over the city. terrible day
Gods be good. ]
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The creature itself is still alive, but just barely. It trashes around weakly when it hears any sort of noise from upstairs.]
Did you... come back for more, motherfucker...? Let me— Let me at you... I'll fucking kill you...
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[ as of right now lucien is completely unaware of his impending katamari fate, because someone’s gotta get clown ass shit done around here. there’s a very long moment where he looks at the joybuzzer and then at the creature like he’s trying to decide if just brain blasting this guy would handily solve the problem so much more quickly and without having to have any pesky emotions about it.
but he manages to scrape the barrel on the barest amount of human decency and goes to just destroy the machines and tubes with whatever around looks heavy and Swingable (its the batcave afterall theres maybe a weapon around??) to try and free what is, in theory, the victim in this scenario. ]
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In any case, his eyes go wide at Bloops' missing arm. ]
No—
[ He's in the process of wrapping a clay restraint around Sidon to keep him from attacking further when the two of them crash into them, so the clay ends up winding around all of them, fusing them into some sort of ball... a ball that gets bigger the more it absorbs things...
They can roll their way down to the lower level I guess!! ]
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instead they are going down the stairs! they are on their way, gorber baby! he's put in a clay swaddle and he's trying to pull it off like peeling gum off a bench, but he only has the one arm to work with and now they're
katamari.
boing they go. ]
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I don't know how we did it but we out-Limbus'd in terms of insanity. She is just (muffled yelling) as they bounce down the stairs and straight into the Batcave. Batbasement. Maybe they can be 2% useful by just so happening to crash into the requisite machinery.
Her axe probably flies out of her hands at some point during this fall if Alli really wants that axe meme. ]
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W... Who?
[They sure are in the Batcave! There is a surplus of heavy and swingable things just laying around for Lucien to use. Whatever green stuff was already in transit goes spilling everywhere after he smashes up the tubes and machinery, and plants start sprouting from the puddles left behind.
The creature is not looking good and might be on its last legs anyway. It's all shriveled up and gray.]
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[ Rodya’s axe goes flying out of her hands and whizzes right by lucien’s head and thunks into a machine. ]
What in all seven hells are you people doing! I’m supposed to be the fucking lunatic here! I’m the ONLY REAL MADMAN HERE!
[ then he’ll grab the handle of the axe as if he plans to yank it out and join the fray, forgetting he’s got the joybuzzer. Because we’re working on Zelda logic, electricity will shoot through it, overloading a machine and sending it exploding into shrapnel. Hooray!
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splat. ]
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We're challenging your title, Clownman. Hey, who's this guy?
[ She will just wrestle an arm out from Goopman's embrace to get at her walkie-talkie. She is definitely bleeding from fending off a feral shark and whatever else but whatever, she's fought through worse. ]
There's a withered plant guy in his basement. Who is also dying, I think. Are the zombies gone? Can we go yet?
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The plant is so startled by the explosions and the Jonker and also the sharknado Katamari ball that it straight up dies. Just dies. Bye.
There's a moment of silence through the walkie talkies before Sonya's baffled voice comes through:]
... Confirmed. The zombies have started to collapse as of ten seconds ago. Bring the plant with you and let's rendezvous at the cemetery. I've requested an evac.
[They are free to go. Hell yeah.
Now that your mission is complete, what does your grand exit look like?]
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He will at least wait semi-politely for the others to grab the plant corpse and exit but he is setting this place ablaze. we can potentially all walk out not looking back at a raging fire like really cool guys … ]
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anyway, the dragon cosplay makes literally no sense as he's wearing it now, but he's mostly focused on the fact that boops is missing an arm. jerker can set the place on fire, and hopefully fitewoman will retrieve the plant, as dion sacrifices his remaining wing to stem droops' bleeding and help him up so they can limp out of this manor before it goes up in flames. ]
... We need to get Boops help, immediately.
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