W1 🛸 PLAYER CYOA: A CLOWNLESS CIRCUS 🚀 SIDON, LUCIEN, RODION, DION

[dropoffs]

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[tombtaker]

[ he cannot move, so he just blinks as these two JOKERS roll up in here. ]

Good evening. Enjoying the service here? They're bringing in canapes soon.

[agamid]

[ hey quick question did anyone give them a hose down or do they still smell like crap

he stares bleakly at lucien ]

What is this place?

[polliwog]

[ why do you always have to ask about shit ]

...I've seen you before?

[ he's groggy but like he's seen these guys on... tv. definitely not on the ship. he's also definitely trying to squint at not-link. ]

[inequals]

You, fish boy! You're the reason seafood prices went way up and only all the pawnbrokers could afford it for a while!

[ You!!!!!!! Fuck the weird bullet guy, shooting on sight is normal as far as she's concerned. BUT RAISING THE COST OF FOOD?

Also why did you assign her grandma story sad, her AU grandma is probably perfectly fine and maybe her only ally in this world that doesn't support her kite dreams? ]

[tombtaker]

Hardly anyone forgets a handsome face like mine, lad.

[ oh yes. the fish. ]

Fortunately I'm not a big seafood fan.

[agamid]

[ rude ]

How dare you! Sir Sidon is of the sea and it is his right to fish as he pleases.

[polliwog]

[ his bestie..... 🥺 ]

It's all right, Dion! Being infamous is nothing to compete over.

[ sushi is better than IRS crimes, maybe ]

[inequals]

[ Rodion's just got a big :T pouty kind of look while she's stuck here on this chair. ]

Shouldn't you know how to fish sustainably? It's like a whole thing, something of the commons or whatever.

Why are we all here, anyway? Didn't you go to the place for big-times, Blackgate?

[tombtaker]

They're going to experiment on us.

[agamid]

Perhaps.

They clearly want something from us that was worth breaking into Blackgate and the Asylum for.

[polliwog]

[ he's about to argue about ecoterrorism but they have bigger fish to fry (heh) ]

Going so far as to kidnap four people from high security prisons for experimenting seems excessive...

[ like, it's too much trouble? aren't the people at arkham biologically normal humans anyway. ]

[inequals]

[ She tilts her head a little with the limited movement she's got, feeling the awkwardness in the back of her head. She settles down at any rate, unenthused. ]

If we're here for some experimentation, babes, I think it's probably in the past tense.

[tombtaker]

[ yes he is a biologically normal human ]

Exactly what I mean, darling. Something's in there ...

[agamid]

I truly tire of being tampered with...

[ he hates this collar too ]

[polliwog]

[ i wish everything was dunmeshi verbage where anything that wasn't a monster is a human

he wants to believe that they haven't been messed with, but that's because he trusts silent blond-haired men implicitly. ]

[inequals]

[ We're either blond or green-lovers up in this house. ]

Harshed the vibes real quick with that one, huh.

[ Fair enough. ]

[messy]

[Lucien, a normal human being.......... There are metas in Arkham, too, by the way. And normies in Blackgate. Y'all just didn't see them.

In any case, their conversation is interrupted by the sound of the door opening and then slamming shut once again. Their two friends from earlier have entered the room the room; the "stranger" has a tablet tucked under their arm, while the "dick" rests his hands on his pistols. They will move to stand in front of the group, quietly examining them for a moment before the dick speaks up:]

You are awake? That is excellent news. [There is a bit of an accent here. His voice is deep.] Then, good morning and congratulations. Your country has called upon your services and now, you will answer that call.

[Are any of them even American. Like, even in the AU.]

[tombtaker]

[ sharply. ]

I'm not American, gobshite.

[agamid]

I've also yet to obtain a green card.

[ can you even get one of those after going to prison ]

[polliwog]

Atlantis is not an official colony of the United States.

[ can they leave ]

[inequals]

You can send me back to Siberia if you want.

[ We're actually doing a really good job of being IC to the Suicide Squad I think. ]

[messy]

[Everyone's immigration journey...

The dick looks Dion right in the eyes.]

We will get you your green card. [A beat.] More importantly, this isn't optional. If you do not serve this country, then you will die here in this room.

[tombtaker]

[ only dion gets to become a citizen ...

lucien's jaw is tightening so much that he can't speak anything else, because he is probably very aware that the next words out of his mouth would be then I'll die and maybe he's not so insane that he doesn't understand that's a bad idea. ]

[agamid]

[ this is white man privilege isn't it ]

And what is the nature of this arrangement? Are we to come as dogs each time you call for us?

[polliwog]

[ this cyoa is really just racism ]

Interesting that you would go so far as to recruit "criminals" such as us to a cause.

[ can't mean anything good for them. ]