[ just. sliding his thumb through the hole in his jacket sleeve to cover his palm in fabric he just moves to hold his arm as well. he keeps his touch light in case too much pressure registers on rusted old wounds. ]
[ bugs do not belong in the cold :nyeh: io will get up, albeit a little slowly with an "oof", moving to turn on a small electric kettle by the desk. a pair of mismatched cups. skimming a drawer briefly. ]
Don't have variety, so you'll get whatever I've got already made... sorry about that. But it'll be hot, so, I hope that'll do?
[ pouring quietly, just staring downwards for a long moment, like maybe he's falling asleep with his eyes open? no it's fine. he blinks after a long stretch and sets his hands on the desk. ]
But I took my brand knowing what it would entail. [ offering him a light smile. ] Mostly. As with most things.
[that light smile gets an attempt at one in turn, but. not quite.]
Well... knowing most of what it'd entail isn't the same as having much choice in it.
[it's an unasked question, something he's leaving to io, if he feels like answering or not. gregor is all too familiar with a lack of choice, and if he's the only physician left, there couldn't have been many options in the beginning.]
Most would rather call me ripper... butcher... that's what I do at the end of the day. [ sitting back down and resting the cup against the join of leg and prosthetic with a soft sigh. much better. there's a small bit of relief. ]
I... [ uncertain of how to say anything about this. ] Sometimes I do not feel like one. But I'm sure you understand that. I am just doing what I can.
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Maybe not. Maybe she'd have just found another time and another way. It's-- what she wanted.
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It... it is...
[ they trail off. silence. unfinished thoughts as they just carefully pat his arm in turn. ]
... Shouldn't have had to. Sweet girl.
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[his fingers curl a little tighter around his arm.]
It wasn't right that it had to be her.
[sometimes all of it just makes him so--
...breathe, gregor.]
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Easy... easy, my friend... breathe. With me...
[ steady... slow... but always steady. ]
I know...
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[losing people they never should have lost, both to death and to their hands being forced. to seemingly losing control.
the contact helps, at least, so he just-- breathes.]
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It is... even if you're seasoned at this sort of thing. "Good" at losing people. Everyone has a point where it starts to break.
I understand.
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[that's all.
looks at this weekend looks away. anyway.]
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Not to say you are at it, but rather tremors.
[ foundations shaken.
don't talk to me about this weekend i feel so fucking betrayed and i'm a mod. ]
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[hehe? listen sometimes you have to slap betray...]
I'm still-- hoping it'll all work out in the end.
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[ a small smile. ]
Even with every disaster, I think we're getting closer.
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[giving him a little nudge, with a small grin of his own.]
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The faith in them is... appreciated. They're stubborn at least.
[ a chuckle ]
And frozen. How about something hot to drink?
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[a little shiver, as if right on cue. ughhh it's too COLD for a bug.]
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Don't have variety, so you'll get whatever I've got already made... sorry about that. But it'll be hot, so, I hope that'll do?
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[just watching him work, for the moment.]
Tell me if you want a hand.
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[ a huff and just prepping a couple of leaves. ]
Reminds me of the work left to do back home.
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[io your kids. your earth.]
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[ the kettle just bubbles, almost there. ]
I need to... save that idiot too.
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[geez.
being the only physician they have to save them from the plague, having someone else to save on top of it all--]
It must be heavy.
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It is.
[ pouring quietly, just staring downwards for a long moment, like maybe he's falling asleep with his eyes open? no it's fine. he blinks after a long stretch and sets his hands on the desk. ]
But I took my brand knowing what it would entail. [ offering him a light smile. ] Mostly. As with most things.
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Well... knowing most of what it'd entail isn't the same as having much choice in it.
[it's an unasked question, something he's leaving to io, if he feels like answering or not. gregor is all too familiar with a lack of choice, and if he's the only physician left, there couldn't have been many options in the beginning.]
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[ a choice willed into existence. it needed to be. he finishes up and brings over a hot cup, handing it over with care. a smile. still. ]
What's been willed simply... will be. And I'm okay with that if it means I can save my town.
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[something that had to be, but that-- at least ends up doing some good. ends up with saving people, with being in a position to help.
gregor takes the cup carefully, human hand curling around it to soak up the warmth.]
... you're a good man, you know.
[it's part of what makes gregor so fond of him.]
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I... [ uncertain of how to say anything about this. ] Sometimes I do not feel like one. But I'm sure you understand that. I am just doing what I can.
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[it's always been enough, here.]
I get it, though. Every time someone here tells me I am, I... almost don't wanna hear it.
[because what good has he done here, really. he hasn't done anything somebody else couldn't. his support could be replaced, if he were gone.]
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HELLO DW I POSTED THIS
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