[The bathroom smells like someone died here. Maybe someone did.
There are three guards stationed outside, equipped with the usual batons, guns, handcuffs and controls for the collars. They are talking about the latest episode of TAWNY, a hit talk show that recently invited a very popular lesbian human-plant supervillain couple. Diversity win! The guards may be racist but at least they're not homophobic.]
Anyway, Dion opens the first stall and probably sees shit (literal) everywhere and instantly closes the stall door again. Except jk, there is no stall door because it's prison and there is no dignity here.
He cares so much about his dignity...
Is there a window in the bathroom? ]
I think it's quite likely you'll be quicker than me, friend.
[ Also, can we assume they have a bucket with soap water. ]
[ are the collars controlled solely by the guards' remote controls? or do they activate automatically? ]
Now, don't give up so easily. It's no fun that way.
[ this is not fun to begin with? he's at the other end of the bathroom as agreed, sure would be cool if there were anything to use as a weapon or like, a structural defect to be found. ]
[There are no stalls, period. The toilets and urinals are just hanging out there, covered in shit (literal) and piss (non-clee), for the whole world to see. Someone chucked a whole toilet roll inside the toilet Dion approaches first.
There's a very sad and tiny window on one of the walls. The pane is made from glass, but there are bars on the other side.
The collars activate automatically. However, both of them have been here long enough to know that the guards can use the controls to activate the shock function even when the collar hasn't been tampered with. Supposedly, the collars can also be deactivated via remote control.
There are six toilets in this bathroom. Six urinals. Two sinks with gross looking mirrors.]
[ The disparity here is unreal. Lucien and Rodya get to play with crayons and eat porridge while they have to clean up superhuman shits? Dion deserves this for being white, but what did Sidon do to be treated like this?
Anyway, cool to know that about the collars.
He turns on both of the sinks, just to help cover the sound of their conversation even if the guards are busy shipping lesbians. ]
I am not surrendering. Merely reconsidering how to focus my attention.
[ Stares at the water and hopes that it's enough to actually fill up the sink. ]
[ these two career(?) criminals who talk like they stepped out of a fantasy novel. maybe they also should've gone to the asylym. also sidon is here because he's been assigned bathrooms for life after curfew.
do they often have time to themselves like this? have they scoped out any rooms on this level before? ]
Sounds like surrender to me!
[ he's going to assume they have a mop of some kind? maybe a mop is enough of a bludgeoning implement. what kind of supplies are they working with here. ]
[Assuming they have been on their best behavior, both of them have been allowed to do other prison support jobs around the institution. Like cooking, cleaning, laundry or small maintenance chores. It's giving them a few opportunities to scope out some of the other rooms on this level.
The soap water is not enough. But at least the faucets are working, so the buckets can be refilled easily enough.
They have a mop. It's one of those wooden stick ones. They also have brooms, brushes for scrubbing, rags, soaps, some detergents... Actually, should any of those be here? They sure have been given bleach and aerosol sprays.]
[ Does Sidon even need super strength? He is a 9ft fish man. ]
Sir Sidon, [ since he doesn't remember that sidon is a prince in this AU, but he still talks pretentiously since he's an ~acteur ] if we were to lure the guards in here, with the floor unstable with water and cleaning supplies brandished...
We may find the opportunity we have been waiting for.
[ Gently picks up a bleach and lets the faucets overflow. ]
[ what the heck is he calling him 'sir' for! dion is so funny and silly. this is why they're best prison friends. even mipha, hardened criminal, would've liked him. ]
Oh—now? All right.
[ K YEAH SOUNDS GOOD TIME TO ESCAPE!!!! :) because zora atlanteans follow pokemon logic, he may die if he gets electrocuted by this dumb collar. so it makes sense that they've been careful even though he's a 9' shark. but if they can deal with everyone at once, without their powers—smooth sailing?
they've never been so stupid as to leave them bleach. he'll hold onto the mop and a spray bottle of something noxious, holding post near the door in case the guards start moving. ]
[Sidon is actually kind of short for a shark man...
The water pressure here is absolute shit, so they get a little trickle of water from each faucet. How are they clogging the sinks so the water (eventually) overflows, though?
The guards are still talking about celebrity couples. Are you team Superbat or team Wonderbat, asks one guard to another. Neither, they say, because they're into nemesis couples only.
Seems like they are too involved in ship discourse to notice the lack of cleaning... for now.]
anyway i made fun of spoon for forgetting that sinks drain and geese fly but i also forgot. he'll use their leftover rags to help clog the sinks... though they probably don't even drain very well anyway.
they can also lube up the floor around the doorway with soap... quietly, ]
We can pretend to argue? [ even though they are BEST PRISON FRIENDS ] I will attack as soon as they walk through.
[The sinks have been clogged! With the amount of water coming out of the faucets, though, it will take a few minutes to overflow.
One of the guards glances back while Sidon lubes up the floor. But he's using soap for this, so they shift their focus back to the ship discourse after assuming he's just getting some soap in there to start cleaning the very gross floor.]
while usually he prefers when the guards ignore them and let them conspire, this is really putting a damper on their best laid plans to clobber them and escape. he smacks the handle of the broom against the wall, nearly breaking it. ]
[Well. With their combined efforts, they manage to create enough of a racket that there's a pause in the conversation happening outside. One of the guards curses, mumbling: I'll break it up. Fuckin' metas. Which is, you know, so rude. The fish and clay racism will never end.
Shortly thereafter, one of the three guards stationed outside pokes their head into the room, a step away from the soapy mess Sidon left on the doorway, with both of their hands propped on their hips. One over their baton and the other over the remote control for the collars. A clear threat.]
Alright, I don't care what your problem is. Break it up or it's back to your cells.
[ unbelievable. these guys don't deserve TAWNY or any of its ships. even sidon, who is generally patient despite having grown up around assholes, finds himself wanting to just beat this guy and all the guards to the ground with a mop.
his irritation is genuine; hopefully it can seem like it's directed at dion, who is definitely the problem. ]
That's pointless. Can't you see everything is broken?
[ if he steps in a little closer (and lets his guard down a little more), he'd be able to spot that the sinks are overflowing. ]
[The way I tried to be nice and rolled to see if the guard would roll lower than Spoon's 9, and got a Nat 20 instead. Girl, help.
The guard rolls their eyes at Dion's cringeworthy attempt at looking submissive and breedable, but it's not until he insults their beloved ship that they go full aggro. And by that I mean they're hitting the button that activates the shock function of their collars, so. Uh. Enjoy getting tasered!
The guard turns around to call for the other two to come in while Dion and Sidon are dealing with that. Vaguely, through the pain, they can hear the guard asking for help carting their asses back to their cells.]
[ dion, your acting skills may have rusted in prison. moreover, this guy really cares about his ship.
if i didn't roll a 6, sidon would probably at least make a grab for the remote, or knock it out of this guy's grubby meat hand, but i didn't so he's still weak to electricity. fucking ow!!!!!! good luck to everybody we are all rotting in jail ]
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There are three guards stationed outside, equipped with the usual batons, guns, handcuffs and controls for the collars. They are talking about the latest episode of TAWNY, a hit talk show that recently invited a very popular lesbian human-plant supervillain couple. Diversity win! The guards may be racist but at least they're not homophobic.]
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Anyway, Dion opens the first stall and probably sees shit (literal) everywhere and instantly closes the stall door again. Except jk, there is no stall door because it's prison and there is no dignity here.
He cares so much about his dignity...
Is there a window in the bathroom? ]
I think it's quite likely you'll be quicker than me, friend.
[ Also, can we assume they have a bucket with soap water. ]
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Now, don't give up so easily. It's no fun that way.
[ this is not fun to begin with? he's at the other end of the bathroom as agreed, sure would be cool if there were anything to use as a weapon or like, a structural defect to be found. ]
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There's a very sad and tiny window on one of the walls. The pane is made from glass, but there are bars on the other side.
The collars activate automatically. However, both of them have been here long enough to know that the guards can use the controls to activate the shock function even when the collar hasn't been tampered with. Supposedly, the collars can also be deactivated via remote control.
There are six toilets in this bathroom. Six urinals. Two sinks with gross looking mirrors.]
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Anyway, cool to know that about the collars.
He turns on both of the sinks, just to help cover the sound of their conversation even if the guards are busy shipping lesbians. ]
I am not surrendering. Merely reconsidering how to focus my attention.
[ Stares at the water and hopes that it's enough to actually fill up the sink. ]
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do they often have time to themselves like this? have they scoped out any rooms on this level before? ]
Sounds like surrender to me!
[ he's going to assume they have a mop of some kind? maybe a mop is enough of a bludgeoning implement. what kind of supplies are they working with here. ]
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The soap water is not enough. But at least the faucets are working, so the buckets can be refilled easily enough.
They have a mop. It's one of those wooden stick ones. They also have brooms, brushes for scrubbing, rags, soaps, some detergents... Actually, should any of those be here? They sure have been given bleach and aerosol sprays.]
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Sir Sidon, [ since he doesn't remember that sidon is a prince in this AU, but he still talks pretentiously since he's an ~acteur ] if we were to lure the guards in here, with the floor unstable with water and cleaning supplies brandished...
We may find the opportunity we have been waiting for.
[ Gently picks up a bleach and lets the faucets overflow. ]
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Oh—now? All right.
[ K YEAH SOUNDS GOOD TIME TO ESCAPE!!!! :) because
zoraatlanteans follow pokemon logic, he may die if he gets electrocuted by this dumb collar. so it makes sense that they've been careful even though he's a 9' shark. but if they can deal with everyone at once, without their powers—smooth sailing?they've never been so stupid as to leave them bleach. he'll hold onto the mop and a spray bottle of something noxious, holding post near the door in case the guards start moving. ]
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The water pressure here is absolute shit, so they get a little trickle of water from each faucet. How are they clogging the sinks so the water (eventually) overflows, though?
The guards are still talking about celebrity couples. Are you team Superbat or team Wonderbat, asks one guard to another. Neither, they say, because they're into nemesis couples only.
Seems like they are too involved in ship discourse to notice the lack of cleaning... for now.]
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Dion stuffs toilet paper into the drain!! He'll also just knock over their pathetic little bucket of soap water.
And then he soaks some of the rags with the bleach... that'll teach them. ]
We'll have to make enough noise to draw them in, but not to alert the other guards.
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anyway i made fun of spoon for forgetting that sinks drain and geese fly but i also forgot. he'll use their leftover rags to help clog the sinks... though they probably don't even drain very well anyway.
they can also lube up the floor around the doorway with soap... quietly, ]
We can pretend to argue? [ even though they are BEST PRISON FRIENDS ] I will attack as soon as they walk through.
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One of the guards glances back while Sidon lubes up the floor. But he's using soap for this, so they shift their focus back to the ship discourse after assuming he's just getting some soap in there to start cleaning the very gross floor.]
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Good thing Dion is an actor. ]
I suppose we have little other choice. It will have to be a petty argument, however.
[ Pretends to clean while waiting for the water to overflow, and then... ]
You've gotten bubbles on my boot!
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he nods, though he is neither an actor nor someone who has ever been mean at their friends. ]
The bubbles suit you! [ wait ] They don't!
[ honestly it sounds like they're arguing, and he splashes his mop a bit for good measure. he's ready to clobber some guards. ]
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One of the guards lazily taps their baton against the doorway, but they don't move from their post. An argument over bubbles is not worth their time.]
Whatever you're doing in there, knock it off and keep working.
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Luckily, Dion is actually annoyed that the guards are less interested in their argument than the ship discourse.
He's going to break a mirror. ]
I shall not! I refuse to work while there are bubbles on my boot!
[ And then, you know what, why not slam a bucket against the sink as well. ]
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while usually he prefers when the guards ignore them and let them conspire, this is really putting a damper on their best laid plans to clobber them and escape. he smacks the handle of the broom against the wall, nearly breaking it. ]
We are cleaning! Of course there are bubbles!!
[ arguing intensifies... ]
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Shortly thereafter, one of the three guards stationed outside pokes their head into the room, a step away from the soapy mess Sidon left on the doorway, with both of their hands propped on their hips. One over their baton and the other over the remote control for the collars. A clear threat.]
Alright, I don't care what your problem is. Break it up or it's back to your cells.
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his irritation is genuine; hopefully it can seem like it's directed at dion, who is definitely the problem. ]
That's pointless. Can't you see everything is broken?
[ if he steps in a little closer (and lets his guard down a little more), he'd be able to spot that the sinks are overflowing. ]
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[ He leans against the sink, looking frail and weak. Like a submission. Even though he is a dominant. ]
Additionally, I find your assertion that Superbat is comparable to Wonderbat absolutely ridiculous.
[ Deftly holds the bleach behind him, if the guard comes in any further he will absolutely just toss it at his face. ]
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The guard rolls their eyes at Dion's cringeworthy attempt at looking submissive and breedable, but it's not until he insults their beloved ship that they go full aggro. And by that I mean they're hitting the button that activates the shock function of their collars, so. Uh. Enjoy getting tasered!
The guard turns around to call for the other two to come in while Dion and Sidon are dealing with that. Vaguely, through the pain, they can hear the guard asking for help carting their asses back to their cells.]
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if i didn't roll a 6, sidon would probably at least make a grab for the remote, or knock it out of this guy's grubby meat hand, but i didn't so he's still weak to electricity. fucking ow!!!!!! good luck to everybody we are all rotting in jail ]
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Dion also immediately just eats it and perishes onto the filthy floor. This is great.
I wanna say he tries to hold onto the bleach rag but with a 6, he's just going to crash into the floor.
Goodbye... Freedom... ]
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On the bright side, the doorway is still thoroughly lubricated from Sidon's gentle, soapy ministrations.
The guards walk in and immediately eat shit.
You are now all on the floor. It is very moist and filthy down here.]
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