[ what the heck is he calling him 'sir' for! dion is so funny and silly. this is why they're best prison friends. even mipha, hardened criminal, would've liked him. ]
Oh—now? All right.
[ K YEAH SOUNDS GOOD TIME TO ESCAPE!!!! :) because zora atlanteans follow pokemon logic, he may die if he gets electrocuted by this dumb collar. so it makes sense that they've been careful even though he's a 9' shark. but if they can deal with everyone at once, without their powers—smooth sailing?
they've never been so stupid as to leave them bleach. he'll hold onto the mop and a spray bottle of something noxious, holding post near the door in case the guards start moving. ]
[Sidon is actually kind of short for a shark man...
The water pressure here is absolute shit, so they get a little trickle of water from each faucet. How are they clogging the sinks so the water (eventually) overflows, though?
The guards are still talking about celebrity couples. Are you team Superbat or team Wonderbat, asks one guard to another. Neither, they say, because they're into nemesis couples only.
Seems like they are too involved in ship discourse to notice the lack of cleaning... for now.]
anyway i made fun of spoon for forgetting that sinks drain and geese fly but i also forgot. he'll use their leftover rags to help clog the sinks... though they probably don't even drain very well anyway.
they can also lube up the floor around the doorway with soap... quietly, ]
We can pretend to argue? [ even though they are BEST PRISON FRIENDS ] I will attack as soon as they walk through.
[The sinks have been clogged! With the amount of water coming out of the faucets, though, it will take a few minutes to overflow.
One of the guards glances back while Sidon lubes up the floor. But he's using soap for this, so they shift their focus back to the ship discourse after assuming he's just getting some soap in there to start cleaning the very gross floor.]
while usually he prefers when the guards ignore them and let them conspire, this is really putting a damper on their best laid plans to clobber them and escape. he smacks the handle of the broom against the wall, nearly breaking it. ]
[Well. With their combined efforts, they manage to create enough of a racket that there's a pause in the conversation happening outside. One of the guards curses, mumbling: I'll break it up. Fuckin' metas. Which is, you know, so rude. The fish and clay racism will never end.
Shortly thereafter, one of the three guards stationed outside pokes their head into the room, a step away from the soapy mess Sidon left on the doorway, with both of their hands propped on their hips. One over their baton and the other over the remote control for the collars. A clear threat.]
Alright, I don't care what your problem is. Break it up or it's back to your cells.
[ unbelievable. these guys don't deserve TAWNY or any of its ships. even sidon, who is generally patient despite having grown up around assholes, finds himself wanting to just beat this guy and all the guards to the ground with a mop.
his irritation is genuine; hopefully it can seem like it's directed at dion, who is definitely the problem. ]
That's pointless. Can't you see everything is broken?
[ if he steps in a little closer (and lets his guard down a little more), he'd be able to spot that the sinks are overflowing. ]
[The way I tried to be nice and rolled to see if the guard would roll lower than Spoon's 9, and got a Nat 20 instead. Girl, help.
The guard rolls their eyes at Dion's cringeworthy attempt at looking submissive and breedable, but it's not until he insults their beloved ship that they go full aggro. And by that I mean they're hitting the button that activates the shock function of their collars, so. Uh. Enjoy getting tasered!
The guard turns around to call for the other two to come in while Dion and Sidon are dealing with that. Vaguely, through the pain, they can hear the guard asking for help carting their asses back to their cells.]
[ dion, your acting skills may have rusted in prison. moreover, this guy really cares about his ship.
if i didn't roll a 6, sidon would probably at least make a grab for the remote, or knock it out of this guy's grubby meat hand, but i didn't so he's still weak to electricity. fucking ow!!!!!! good luck to everybody we are all rotting in jail ]
he's still recovering and downed though, none of his limbs responding as they should. idk what he can do besides like kick some guards while they're down and hopefully get the remote away. why are the dice in this cyoa such cops. ]
[ Okay well. Even if Dion is in agony on the floor he is going to make sure that at least they can be in agony together.
So basically he's just going to try and kick and flail in the guards' direction so at least they can't get back up. Did they... happen to drop the controls when they ate shit? ]
[Yeah, these guards are flopping on the ground like slippery eels. They ain't getting up (yet.)
Sidon's foot connects with the Superbat shipper's hand, sending the remote skittering across the filthy bathroom floor. It stops when it bumps against one of the toilets.]
[ wow i thought the bleach would be their saving grace this time but it was actually soap lube.
rolls have been 6, 9, and 12, so theoretically in 2 more tag rounds he'll remember how to be a fully functional fish. but for now, he's just going to grapple these guards and try to make sure they stay down with them on this disgusting floor, at least. ]
But Dion is going to do his best and crawl toward the toilet to get the remote while slapping away any guards that go after it too. He will even surrender his dignity and grab a wet clump of questionably soiled toilet paper and fling it at one of the guards, this is so disgusting. ]
[I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE WHY DID I ROLL ANOTHER NAT 20
Anyway, two of the guards stay on the ground but one of them (the Superbat shipper) rises from the ground like a fish racist phoenix and starts beating on Sidon. Luckily, they only have two fists, so Dion is safe for now. The toilet paper lands on the Wonderbat shipper's face with a disgustingly wet sound. They immediately start to heave, nauseous:]
Ohmygodit'sinmymouthit'sinmy—BLAACCH!
[The putrid smell of the toilet is enough to bring tears to Dion's clay eyes, but the remote is nearly within his reach.]
[ the bathrooms are really doing so much of the labor of this escape, thank you disgusting fucking bathroom.
at least they're soapy... anyway he can get wailed on, he's prepared to take on the superbat fish racist while dion does his best. he's going to grab the jug of bleach and clobber one of them over the head with it. it may be open from when dion was messing with it? eat shit, casual racism. ]
[ Absolutely incensed by the violence against his work bestie, Dion manages to finally recover from the shock earlier and push himself up onto his hands and knees to cross the remaining distance and grab the control.
How simple is the deactivation mechanic, can he figure it out while they're all covered in bubbles and excrement? If not, he'll just hang onto it while scrambling back to his feet and giving the nearest guard a solid kick to the face. ]
Sir Sidon!
[ Whips another toilet paper clump at the standing guard. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Oh—now? All right.
[ K YEAH SOUNDS GOOD TIME TO ESCAPE!!!! :) because
zoraatlanteans follow pokemon logic, he may die if he gets electrocuted by this dumb collar. so it makes sense that they've been careful even though he's a 9' shark. but if they can deal with everyone at once, without their powers—smooth sailing?they've never been so stupid as to leave them bleach. he'll hold onto the mop and a spray bottle of something noxious, holding post near the door in case the guards start moving. ]
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The water pressure here is absolute shit, so they get a little trickle of water from each faucet. How are they clogging the sinks so the water (eventually) overflows, though?
The guards are still talking about celebrity couples. Are you team Superbat or team Wonderbat, asks one guard to another. Neither, they say, because they're into nemesis couples only.
Seems like they are too involved in ship discourse to notice the lack of cleaning... for now.]
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Dion stuffs toilet paper into the drain!! He'll also just knock over their pathetic little bucket of soap water.
And then he soaks some of the rags with the bleach... that'll teach them. ]
We'll have to make enough noise to draw them in, but not to alert the other guards.
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anyway i made fun of spoon for forgetting that sinks drain and geese fly but i also forgot. he'll use their leftover rags to help clog the sinks... though they probably don't even drain very well anyway.
they can also lube up the floor around the doorway with soap... quietly, ]
We can pretend to argue? [ even though they are BEST PRISON FRIENDS ] I will attack as soon as they walk through.
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One of the guards glances back while Sidon lubes up the floor. But he's using soap for this, so they shift their focus back to the ship discourse after assuming he's just getting some soap in there to start cleaning the very gross floor.]
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Good thing Dion is an actor. ]
I suppose we have little other choice. It will have to be a petty argument, however.
[ Pretends to clean while waiting for the water to overflow, and then... ]
You've gotten bubbles on my boot!
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he nods, though he is neither an actor nor someone who has ever been mean at their friends. ]
The bubbles suit you! [ wait ] They don't!
[ honestly it sounds like they're arguing, and he splashes his mop a bit for good measure. he's ready to clobber some guards. ]
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One of the guards lazily taps their baton against the doorway, but they don't move from their post. An argument over bubbles is not worth their time.]
Whatever you're doing in there, knock it off and keep working.
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Luckily, Dion is actually annoyed that the guards are less interested in their argument than the ship discourse.
He's going to break a mirror. ]
I shall not! I refuse to work while there are bubbles on my boot!
[ And then, you know what, why not slam a bucket against the sink as well. ]
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while usually he prefers when the guards ignore them and let them conspire, this is really putting a damper on their best laid plans to clobber them and escape. he smacks the handle of the broom against the wall, nearly breaking it. ]
We are cleaning! Of course there are bubbles!!
[ arguing intensifies... ]
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Shortly thereafter, one of the three guards stationed outside pokes their head into the room, a step away from the soapy mess Sidon left on the doorway, with both of their hands propped on their hips. One over their baton and the other over the remote control for the collars. A clear threat.]
Alright, I don't care what your problem is. Break it up or it's back to your cells.
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his irritation is genuine; hopefully it can seem like it's directed at dion, who is definitely the problem. ]
That's pointless. Can't you see everything is broken?
[ if he steps in a little closer (and lets his guard down a little more), he'd be able to spot that the sinks are overflowing. ]
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[ He leans against the sink, looking frail and weak. Like a submission. Even though he is a dominant. ]
Additionally, I find your assertion that Superbat is comparable to Wonderbat absolutely ridiculous.
[ Deftly holds the bleach behind him, if the guard comes in any further he will absolutely just toss it at his face. ]
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The guard rolls their eyes at Dion's cringeworthy attempt at looking submissive and breedable, but it's not until he insults their beloved ship that they go full aggro. And by that I mean they're hitting the button that activates the shock function of their collars, so. Uh. Enjoy getting tasered!
The guard turns around to call for the other two to come in while Dion and Sidon are dealing with that. Vaguely, through the pain, they can hear the guard asking for help carting their asses back to their cells.]
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if i didn't roll a 6, sidon would probably at least make a grab for the remote, or knock it out of this guy's grubby meat hand, but i didn't so he's still weak to electricity. fucking ow!!!!!! good luck to everybody we are all rotting in jail ]
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Dion also immediately just eats it and perishes onto the filthy floor. This is great.
I wanna say he tries to hold onto the bleach rag but with a 6, he's just going to crash into the floor.
Goodbye... Freedom... ]
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On the bright side, the doorway is still thoroughly lubricated from Sidon's gentle, soapy ministrations.
The guards walk in and immediately eat shit.
You are now all on the floor. It is very moist and filthy down here.]
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he's still recovering and downed though, none of his limbs responding as they should. idk what he can do besides like kick some guards while they're down and hopefully get the remote away. why are the dice in this cyoa such cops. ]
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So basically he's just going to try and kick and flail in the guards' direction so at least they can't get back up. Did they... happen to drop the controls when they ate shit? ]
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Sidon's foot connects with the Superbat shipper's hand, sending the remote skittering across the filthy bathroom floor. It stops when it bumps against one of the toilets.]
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rolls have been 6, 9, and 12, so theoretically in 2 more tag rounds he'll remember how to be a fully functional fish. but for now, he's just going to grapple these guards and try to make sure they stay down with them on this disgusting floor, at least. ]
Dion! The remote!
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But Dion is going to do his best and crawl toward the toilet to get the remote while slapping away any guards that go after it too. He will even surrender his dignity and grab a wet clump of questionably soiled toilet paper and fling it at one of the guards, this is so disgusting. ]
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Anyway, two of the guards stay on the ground but one of them (the Superbat shipper) rises from the ground like a fish racist phoenix and starts beating on Sidon. Luckily, they only have two fists, so Dion is safe for now. The toilet paper lands on the Wonderbat shipper's face with a disgustingly wet sound. They immediately start to heave, nauseous:]
Ohmygodit'sinmymouthit'sinmy—BLAACCH!
[The putrid smell of the toilet is enough to bring tears to Dion's clay eyes, but the remote is nearly within his reach.]
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at least they're soapy... anyway he can get wailed on, he's prepared to take on the superbat fish racist while dion does his best. he's going to grab the jug of bleach and clobber one of them over the head with it. it may be open from when dion was messing with it? eat shit, casual racism. ]
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How simple is the deactivation mechanic, can he figure it out while they're all covered in bubbles and excrement? If not, he'll just hang onto it while scrambling back to his feet and giving the nearest guard a solid kick to the face. ]
Sir Sidon!
[ Whips another toilet paper clump at the standing guard. ]
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