[The way I tried to be nice and rolled to see if the guard would roll lower than Spoon's 9, and got a Nat 20 instead. Girl, help.
The guard rolls their eyes at Dion's cringeworthy attempt at looking submissive and breedable, but it's not until he insults their beloved ship that they go full aggro. And by that I mean they're hitting the button that activates the shock function of their collars, so. Uh. Enjoy getting tasered!
The guard turns around to call for the other two to come in while Dion and Sidon are dealing with that. Vaguely, through the pain, they can hear the guard asking for help carting their asses back to their cells.]
[ dion, your acting skills may have rusted in prison. moreover, this guy really cares about his ship.
if i didn't roll a 6, sidon would probably at least make a grab for the remote, or knock it out of this guy's grubby meat hand, but i didn't so he's still weak to electricity. fucking ow!!!!!! good luck to everybody we are all rotting in jail ]
he's still recovering and downed though, none of his limbs responding as they should. idk what he can do besides like kick some guards while they're down and hopefully get the remote away. why are the dice in this cyoa such cops. ]
[ Okay well. Even if Dion is in agony on the floor he is going to make sure that at least they can be in agony together.
So basically he's just going to try and kick and flail in the guards' direction so at least they can't get back up. Did they... happen to drop the controls when they ate shit? ]
[Yeah, these guards are flopping on the ground like slippery eels. They ain't getting up (yet.)
Sidon's foot connects with the Superbat shipper's hand, sending the remote skittering across the filthy bathroom floor. It stops when it bumps against one of the toilets.]
[ wow i thought the bleach would be their saving grace this time but it was actually soap lube.
rolls have been 6, 9, and 12, so theoretically in 2 more tag rounds he'll remember how to be a fully functional fish. but for now, he's just going to grapple these guards and try to make sure they stay down with them on this disgusting floor, at least. ]
But Dion is going to do his best and crawl toward the toilet to get the remote while slapping away any guards that go after it too. He will even surrender his dignity and grab a wet clump of questionably soiled toilet paper and fling it at one of the guards, this is so disgusting. ]
[I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE WHY DID I ROLL ANOTHER NAT 20
Anyway, two of the guards stay on the ground but one of them (the Superbat shipper) rises from the ground like a fish racist phoenix and starts beating on Sidon. Luckily, they only have two fists, so Dion is safe for now. The toilet paper lands on the Wonderbat shipper's face with a disgustingly wet sound. They immediately start to heave, nauseous:]
Ohmygodit'sinmymouthit'sinmy—BLAACCH!
[The putrid smell of the toilet is enough to bring tears to Dion's clay eyes, but the remote is nearly within his reach.]
[ the bathrooms are really doing so much of the labor of this escape, thank you disgusting fucking bathroom.
at least they're soapy... anyway he can get wailed on, he's prepared to take on the superbat fish racist while dion does his best. he's going to grab the jug of bleach and clobber one of them over the head with it. it may be open from when dion was messing with it? eat shit, casual racism. ]
[ Absolutely incensed by the violence against his work bestie, Dion manages to finally recover from the shock earlier and push himself up onto his hands and knees to cross the remaining distance and grab the control.
How simple is the deactivation mechanic, can he figure it out while they're all covered in bubbles and excrement? If not, he'll just hang onto it while scrambling back to his feet and giving the nearest guard a solid kick to the face. ]
Sir Sidon!
[ Whips another toilet paper clump at the standing guard. ]
[Dion will see two buttons on the control: one is red and the other is black. Neither one is labeled in any way. The control is also, uh, very moist and covered in little bits and pieces of something he might not want to think too hard about.
I'm going to be nice and say Sidon can clobber one of them over the head with the open bleach bottle. The contents spill all over the guard's face, getting into their eyes and mouth. They begin to scream and writhe in pain — right before taking a toilet paper clump to the face.
The remaining guard starts to pick themselves up, but they promptly lose their footing on the slippery floor. Down they go again.]
[ thank you for the mercy, he actually got a +6 modifier because this guy sucks and so do his ship opinions, probably. ]
Hah! One to go!
[ he's having a good time besides the uh disgusting bathroom parts. they're all kind of slippery now but he'll try and keep the last guy occupied by beating him with a mop. wow, violence. ]
anyway the remote IS SO SLIPPERY AAAAAH realistically he would wait until the KO the last guy, but he's struggling to keep his balance and hits the black button while throwing one last toilet paper clump at the last guard, his vision blurred from the toilet fumes ]
Here are the good news: Sidon is having a good time beating the shit out of that last dude with a mop. Yay, violence!
Here are the bad news: Dion hits the switch that makes the collars go bzzzzzt. They are once again on the ground, hit with that good ol' electricity. Their necks are not going to look pretty once they get these things off, man.
Further bad news: While Sidon and Dion are on the ground writhing in pain, the remaining guard starts to pick themselves up. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a fucking boomerang flies into the room and hits the guy right between the eyes, knocking them out instantly.
There's someone standing outside the room, looking around in pure bafflement. They are wearing a ski mask to match their strange costume, with a little bit of blonde hair poking out.]
[ The way that Dion has really contributed nothing of value.
But even as he goes down to his knees after being electrocuted again, he AT LEAST KNOWS WHICH ONE IS THE RIGHT BUTTON NOW can he press the red one while collapsing.
His voice is raspy when he spots the stranger, ] Who...
[ DION if he were not his bestie he would be a little upset with him for once again sending them back to this disgusting bathroom floor. you had one job dion.
he's already trying to drag himself up, but it's hard with the Electricity, when someone saves them because they've been rolling so bad they require outside assistance, and all he can do is try to get a good look at this person. ]
[Spoon rolled a Nat 20 so you know what, yeah. You can hit the right button while collapsing. There's a soft mechanical whirring before the collars go offline. They will feel their meta abilities returning to them, but they just got tasered, so their muscles are still dealing with that.
Eloquently, the stranger says:]
Hup.
[And then they walk over the collapsed guards and crouch down next to Sidon, patting his fishy head, before effortlessly picking him up like a sack of potatoes despite the fact that they are about half his height. Sidon will feel a slight prick against his neck when this happens.
Dion is barely keeping himself upright after being tasered a second time, and this is only going to make his #CatholicGuilt worse. Sidon, forgive him...
Anyway, Sidon is huge so watching him get picked up like a pair of grapes is disorienting, and Dion gets ready to become clay. ]
[ well, this is a new experience. he's picked up and the weightlessness of it is strange, but he can't exactly complain—besides the pinprick sensation?
it's fine.
he looks to dion, then kind of tries to crane his neck to look at their 'saviour.' it's hard since he's again, twice their size. ]
[Is that their name or are they just making vague noises? They will continue to approach Dion either way.
Also, good news for Nu's inbox! Sidon is suddenly feeling very sleepy. So sleepy, in fact, that he might as well take a nap while held in the stranger's surprisingly buff embrace. A mirmir.]
[ sneepy! it's sneepy hours, and he nods off immediately, leaving dion to deal with... whoever this is. but also perhaps he feels comfortable enough around this person anyway to pass out safely anyway. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
The guard rolls their eyes at Dion's cringeworthy attempt at looking submissive and breedable, but it's not until he insults their beloved ship that they go full aggro. And by that I mean they're hitting the button that activates the shock function of their collars, so. Uh. Enjoy getting tasered!
The guard turns around to call for the other two to come in while Dion and Sidon are dealing with that. Vaguely, through the pain, they can hear the guard asking for help carting their asses back to their cells.]
no subject
if i didn't roll a 6, sidon would probably at least make a grab for the remote, or knock it out of this guy's grubby meat hand, but i didn't so he's still weak to electricity. fucking ow!!!!!! good luck to everybody we are all rotting in jail ]
no subject
Dion also immediately just eats it and perishes onto the filthy floor. This is great.
I wanna say he tries to hold onto the bleach rag but with a 6, he's just going to crash into the floor.
Goodbye... Freedom... ]
no subject
On the bright side, the doorway is still thoroughly lubricated from Sidon's gentle, soapy ministrations.
The guards walk in and immediately eat shit.
You are now all on the floor. It is very moist and filthy down here.]
no subject
he's still recovering and downed though, none of his limbs responding as they should. idk what he can do besides like kick some guards while they're down and hopefully get the remote away. why are the dice in this cyoa such cops. ]
no subject
So basically he's just going to try and kick and flail in the guards' direction so at least they can't get back up. Did they... happen to drop the controls when they ate shit? ]
no subject
Sidon's foot connects with the Superbat shipper's hand, sending the remote skittering across the filthy bathroom floor. It stops when it bumps against one of the toilets.]
no subject
rolls have been 6, 9, and 12, so theoretically in 2 more tag rounds he'll remember how to be a fully functional fish. but for now, he's just going to grapple these guards and try to make sure they stay down with them on this disgusting floor, at least. ]
Dion! The remote!
no subject
But Dion is going to do his best and crawl toward the toilet to get the remote while slapping away any guards that go after it too. He will even surrender his dignity and grab a wet clump of questionably soiled toilet paper and fling it at one of the guards, this is so disgusting. ]
no subject
Anyway, two of the guards stay on the ground but one of them (the Superbat shipper) rises from the ground like a fish racist phoenix and starts beating on Sidon. Luckily, they only have two fists, so Dion is safe for now. The toilet paper lands on the Wonderbat shipper's face with a disgustingly wet sound. They immediately start to heave, nauseous:]
Ohmygodit'sinmymouthit'sinmy—BLAACCH!
[The putrid smell of the toilet is enough to bring tears to Dion's clay eyes, but the remote is nearly within his reach.]
no subject
at least they're soapy... anyway he can get wailed on, he's prepared to take on the superbat fish racist while dion does his best. he's going to grab the jug of bleach and clobber one of them over the head with it. it may be open from when dion was messing with it? eat shit, casual racism. ]
no subject
How simple is the deactivation mechanic, can he figure it out while they're all covered in bubbles and excrement? If not, he'll just hang onto it while scrambling back to his feet and giving the nearest guard a solid kick to the face. ]
Sir Sidon!
[ Whips another toilet paper clump at the standing guard. ]
no subject
I'm going to be nice and say Sidon can clobber one of them over the head with the open bleach bottle. The contents spill all over the guard's face, getting into their eyes and mouth. They begin to scream and writhe in pain — right before taking a toilet paper clump to the face.
The remaining guard starts to pick themselves up, but they promptly lose their footing on the slippery floor. Down they go again.]
no subject
Hah! One to go!
[ he's having a good time besides the uh disgusting bathroom parts. they're all kind of slippery now but he'll try and keep the last guy occupied by beating him with a mop. wow, violence. ]
no subject
[ life is a nightmare
anyway the remote IS SO SLIPPERY AAAAAH realistically he would wait until the KO the last guy, but he's struggling to keep his balance and hits the black button while throwing one last toilet paper clump at the last guard, his vision blurred from the toilet fumes ]
no subject
Here are the good news: Sidon is having a good time beating the shit out of that last dude with a mop. Yay, violence!
Here are the bad news: Dion hits the switch that makes the collars go bzzzzzt. They are once again on the ground, hit with that good ol' electricity. Their necks are not going to look pretty once they get these things off, man.
Further bad news: While Sidon and Dion are on the ground writhing in pain, the remaining guard starts to pick themselves up. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a fucking boomerang flies into the room and hits the guy right between the eyes, knocking them out instantly.
There's someone standing outside the room, looking around in pure bafflement. They are wearing a ski mask to match their strange costume, with a little bit of blonde hair poking out.]
no subject
But even as he goes down to his knees after being electrocuted again, he AT LEAST KNOWS WHICH ONE IS THE RIGHT BUTTON NOW can he press the red one while collapsing.
His voice is raspy when he spots the stranger, ] Who...
no subject
he's already trying to drag himself up, but it's hard with the Electricity, when someone saves them because they've been rolling so bad they require outside assistance, and all he can do is try to get a good look at this person. ]
no subject
Eloquently, the stranger says:]
Hup.
[And then they walk over the collapsed guards and crouch down next to Sidon, patting his fishy head, before effortlessly picking him up like a sack of potatoes despite the fact that they are about half his height. Sidon will feel a slight prick against his neck when this happens.
The stranger begins to walk towards Dion.]
no subject
Dion is barely keeping himself upright after being tasered a second time, and this is only going to make his #CatholicGuilt worse. Sidon, forgive him...
Anyway, Sidon is huge so watching him get picked up like a pair of grapes is disorienting, and Dion gets ready to become clay. ]
State your name.
no subject
it's fine.
he looks to dion, then kind of tries to crane his neck to look at their 'saviour.' it's hard since he's again, twice their size. ]
...Thank you?
no subject
Hi-yah.
[Is that their name or are they just making vague noises? They will continue to approach Dion either way.
Also, good news for Nu's inbox! Sidon is suddenly feeling very sleepy. So sleepy, in fact, that he might as well take a nap while held in the stranger's surprisingly buff embrace. A mirmir.]
no subject
Dion is fairly sure this guy is on their side, but he still brandishes a broom nonetheless. ]
What have you done to Sir Sidon?
no subject
no subject
[It's self explanatory?
The stranger pats their other shoulder and beckons Dion forward. Come, you can take a nap too.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)