[Yes! YES! It's Throné! Throné who brought all of those clothes into their room to hoard, and she looked good in every one!
Yes! It was Lucien, and his stupid purple head that got the book--on purpose because he was being annoying.
The rumbling makes him tense. The Belly...? The data is such a jumble, and it all slips through his digging, climbing fingers. But he does stop when the darkness around him squeezes. He gasps, and then he tries to yell, but he doesn't know if anything comes out.
A memory. A memory. His memories. He doesn't want to lose them.
The door behind them is rattling furiously. A man's voice is yelling. He runs back to the table with a broad, tanned man while the machine they are with starts up, whirring. J-- says it isn't going to work, and he yells that it will, they don't have much time.
Crank it! That's what he had said--it's Jayce, and they are three seconds from discovering Hextech.]
I want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveLETMELIVEI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to liveI want to live
Do I even deserve to be alive?
well?
do you?
do you deserve to be alive?
(the man's name is jayce, the man's name is jayce and you clutch it so tightly in your heart, in the deep pit of your emotions and your desires, you hold it fast until you bore marks into it. these names, these faces, these people who have burrowed so far and fast into your life...
they're here, in your memories.
and they're there, up there, alive...
and they are waiting for you.
"almost there... you're almost there, come on... maybe you can't hear us... but come on, almost there..." ]
[The thoughts make him pause, horrified to hear them bounced back to him. He had not thought about them since, and he had not seen them displayed for everyone to see.
He had nothing to live for, that had been true. Creating Hextech--no one even knew his name. It was all Jayce, and he had preferred it because he just wanted to help others, not be praised.
But it's different here. It's different now. There are people important to him he wants to live for. He may not deserve to be alive, but fuck it, he is going to be alive!
All at once, he starts squirming and thrashing again, digging, clawing, climbing, yelling until his throat is hoarse from a sound that he can't even hear escape.]
Let me go!
[There is a boy with a lame leg and a cane on a bank, following a metal toy boat as it drifts down the polluted stream...]
[ the boy follows the boat, teetering, tottering along...
there's a light there... in the water... in the dirty, filthy polluted water. there are voices coming from the water, ripples. ripples coming faster and faster.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Yes! It was Lucien, and his stupid purple head that got the book--on purpose because he was being annoying.
The rumbling makes him tense. The Belly...? The data is such a jumble, and it all slips through his digging, climbing fingers. But he does stop when the darkness around him squeezes. He gasps, and then he tries to yell, but he doesn't know if anything comes out.
A memory. A memory. His memories. He doesn't want to lose them.
The door behind them is rattling furiously. A man's voice is yelling. He runs back to the table with a broad, tanned man while the machine they are with starts up, whirring. J-- says it isn't going to work, and he yells that it will, they don't have much time.
Crank it! That's what he had said--it's Jayce, and they are three seconds from discovering Hextech.]
no subject
like food escaping from the jaws of a predator, narrowly wiggling, climbing through a gullet, desperate to leave, to survive...
sounds familiar, doesn't it? familiar... final... thoughts...
well?
do you?
do you deserve to be alive?
(the man's name is jayce, the man's name is jayce and you clutch it so tightly in your heart, in the deep pit of your emotions and your desires, you hold it fast until you bore marks into it. these names, these faces, these people who have burrowed so far and fast into your life...
they're here, in your memories.
and they're there, up there, alive...
and they are waiting for you.
"almost there... you're almost there, come on... maybe you can't hear us... but come on, almost there..." ]
no subject
He had nothing to live for, that had been true. Creating Hextech--no one even knew his name. It was all Jayce, and he had preferred it because he just wanted to help others, not be praised.
But it's different here. It's different now. There are people important to him he wants to live for. He may not deserve to be alive, but fuck it, he is going to be alive!
All at once, he starts squirming and thrashing again, digging, clawing, climbing, yelling until his throat is hoarse from a sound that he can't even hear escape.]
Let me go!
[There is a boy with a lame leg and a cane on a bank, following a metal toy boat as it drifts down the polluted stream...]
no subject
there's a light there... in the water... in the dirty, filthy polluted water. there are voices coming from the water, ripples. ripples coming faster and faster.
faster and faster and faster.
viktor yells—and the water suddenly rises up in one great all-consuming splash. numbers and letters, words, memories, his name, the faces of those he loves. all at once. everywhere. ]