[ VIKTOR REALLY WAS SO RUDE TO HIM TODAY HE THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING HIM
It's a strange thing for him to think about... Because him and Vash will likely have long lives to go. The passage of time is so different to them. ]
I never knew dead men could talk so much. [ Honestly, this ship has been the most socialization he's had since he was a child. ] What changed you here?
[He was panicking, okay. Listen. He was panicking despite knowing the answers already.
The question catches him off guard, and he hesitates thoughtfully, glancing out of the deck glass.]
I'm... not sure how much you know about me exactly... I have never... really had friends. Other children avoided me because I was a cripple and a Zaunite. And as I got older, I preferred solitude because it was what I knew, and I didn't have to navigate all of these tiresome social interactions.
I have, um, done some terrible things out of... the desperation to live, too. I wanted a normal lifespan. I was so afraid of dying and death.
I thought it would always be this way.
But I guess the answer is: dying changed me. Having what I feared most happen... made me realize the mistakes I was making.
[ they were just unrelated guinea pigs that vash decided not to explain
Knives is oddly a good listener and observer despite his superiority-inferiority complex. ]
I have little interest in your personal lives. [ Unless it benefits him. ] Not many people can say that death was a humbling experience, but you were lucky.
[ He can't relate because dying would definitely make him a worse person which is crazy because he's already bad. ]
You're still returning to death, back in your home planet.
[Because Vash was the idiot culprit. He is going to strangle that dude.
YOU NEVER KNOW, maybe dying would fix Knives, too. (delusional)]
Yes, more than likely. I don't know what the future holds for me after all this. But... I've learned... to not be afraid of the future so much that I squander the precious time I have right here in the present.
I've... made friends. And, yes, I don't think for a moment a lot of humans aren't still terrible. I won't forget how badly others treated me when I was young. But I have found ones, somehow, that aren't so bad, which makes holding onto those memories so tiring.
It would only fix Knives if he stayed permanently dead...... And seeing Vash on the brink of death would probably change his tune, too.
He isn't obtuse to know there are humans who are kinder than others, but he has seen how they turn on each other during the worst of times... He has seen them turn on his brother. His cynicism and pessimism are stronger, paranoia and fear abundant. Charles really tried his best. ]
And you have not the smallest intention of leaving to a different world.
[every time you use this icon i think it's vergil from devil may cry why do i have such fucking BAD taste in animated men]
Oh. Well, perhaps. I'd like to, but... that depends on a certain purple, horned person.
[Knives does not fucking care, but he just naturally seems a bit shy regarding this. ANYWAY.]
I don't really have any attachments. Jayce has all of our research for Hextech, so he should be fine. Wherever Lucien wants to go, I will follow for... whatever little bit of time I have left.
[People might can heal him, or whatever magic bullshittery, but he isn't going to bank so heavily on that without knowing.]
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It's a strange thing for him to think about... Because him and Vash will likely have long lives to go. The passage of time is so different to them. ]
I never knew dead men could talk so much. [ Honestly, this ship has been the most socialization he's had since he was a child. ] What changed you here?
[ He doesn't see anything worth much. ]
no subject
The question catches him off guard, and he hesitates thoughtfully, glancing out of the deck glass.]
I'm... not sure how much you know about me exactly... I have never... really had friends. Other children avoided me because I was a cripple and a Zaunite. And as I got older, I preferred solitude because it was what I knew, and I didn't have to navigate all of these tiresome social interactions.
I have, um, done some terrible things out of... the desperation to live, too. I wanted a normal lifespan. I was so afraid of dying and death.
I thought it would always be this way.
But I guess the answer is: dying changed me. Having what I feared most happen... made me realize the mistakes I was making.
no subject
Knives is oddly a good listener and observer despite his superiority-inferiority complex. ]
I have little interest in your personal lives. [ Unless it benefits him. ] Not many people can say that death was a humbling experience, but you were lucky.
[ He can't relate because dying would definitely make him a worse person which is crazy because he's already bad. ]
You're still returning to death, back in your home planet.
no subject
YOU NEVER KNOW, maybe dying would fix Knives, too. (delusional)]
Yes, more than likely. I don't know what the future holds for me after all this. But... I've learned... to not be afraid of the future so much that I squander the precious time I have right here in the present.
I've... made friends. And, yes, I don't think for a moment a lot of humans aren't still terrible. I won't forget how badly others treated me when I was young. But I have found ones, somehow, that aren't so bad, which makes holding onto those memories so tiring.
no subject
It would only fix Knives if he stayed permanently dead...... And seeing Vash on the brink of death would probably change his tune, too.
He isn't obtuse to know there are humans who are kinder than others, but he has seen how they turn on each other during the worst of times... He has seen them turn on his brother. His cynicism and pessimism are stronger, paranoia and fear abundant. Charles really tried his best. ]
And you have not the smallest intention of leaving to a different world.
[ Humans care to survive so he's like ...? ]
no subject
Oh. Well, perhaps. I'd like to, but... that depends on a certain purple, horned person.
[Knives does not fucking care, but he just naturally seems a bit shy regarding this. ANYWAY.]
I don't really have any attachments. Jayce has all of our research for Hextech, so he should be fine. Wherever Lucien wants to go, I will follow for... whatever little bit of time I have left.
[People might can heal him, or whatever magic bullshittery, but he isn't going to bank so heavily on that without knowing.]
no subject
Knives really does not care about your gay agenda, even though he basically gave Vash a boyfriend. I don't know the purpose of this in Stampede yet. ]
You've grown complacent in a different way, Viktor. Your ambitions have shifted.
[ It isn't a strange thing... But he's used to mad scientists staying insanely mad. ]
I'm sure he will find a way to keep you going, no matter how cursed it will be.