AUDIENCE 🚀 ICHIBAN

[dropoffs]

Comments

[frotag]

Like Space Invaders?

[dropoffs]

What is "Space Invaders?"

[ Can you feel the frown and confusion. ]

[frotag]

[ yes, actually, since it's EMOTIONSHARE YOU FOOLS. but in return, have ichiban's own confusion as he pulls up his i.r.i.s. interface and mimes holding a controller to pull up the built-in space invaders app. ]

Even if you've never heard of it before, it came pre-installed for us. I think Thebe did mention you guys running on older software, though...

[dropoffs]

[ everyone: i'm an empath
callisto: red flag

They look at it and there's some sense of recognition. ]

I see... It is a game. I have no use for those.

[ They don't know about the Invaders of Space. ]

How is it relevant.

[frotag]

Well, here, see for yourself—

[ and here he takes the opportunity to start up a game and show callisto, pressing the A button to fire some shots and blow up a couple of pixel aliens. ]

Is your debris-clearing mission anything like this?

[dropoffs]

These are meant to represent extraterrestrial life. They are not debris.

[ Like this is more important than the actual action itself. ]

[frotag]

. . . Pretend they are.

[ help ]

[dropoffs]

[ Ichiban is trying his best... ]

Yes.

[frotag]

...that is about the extent of my space weapon knowledge.

[dropoffs]

You should be able to lubricate machinery.

[ They've made a decision and has given up. ]

[frotag]

Dude why didn't you just lead with that?!

[dropoffs]

I was short-sighted. Let us start the simulation before you handle the real thing.

[ !!! and they will see a mechanical arm manifest. It is creaky, creaky, showing that in it trying to turn and it making a sharp sound. ]

[frotag]

[ oh ok that's. something. hm. ]

So I'm supposed to... lube this thing up?

[ don't gotta say it like that ]

[dropoffs]

Yes.

[ Callisto doesn't think it sounds weird? They seem very serious about it.

They'll simulate a digital panel screen that shows the areas that need LUBE on this simulated model. ]

These are the target areas.

[frotag]

Well, uh, here goes nothing.

[ is there callisto-supplied lube?? if not, ichiban will pause for a sec before realizing he can also create things in this simulation— either way, once he's properly equipped, he'll look over the diagram in front of callisto before moving to the model and... oiling those areas up. ]

[dropoffs]

[ This is So Funny even though Callisto is extremely serious about this.

Is Ichiban... Oiling it up with his bare hands...? Tell me how this is going because Callisto is definitely watching. ]

[frotag]

[ I ASSUMED HE HAD LIKE, A CAN, HELP ME ]

[dropoffs]

[ If Ichiban wants a can, he manifests a can in this sim, right? Upon correct lubing, the piano plays a somber tune... It's incomplete, as if missing its other half, but it's a job well done sign. ]

You oiled the correct spots.

[ How well did Ichiban use the lube? Did he use just the right amount? Too little? Too much? Second appraisal. ]

[frotag]

[ YEAH... THAT IS WHAT HE DID... also he's not a guy who does this regularly, so let's just say he did an Okay job. definitely not a great one! but it'll do. he erred on the side of too much than not enough, enthusiasm gives him bonus points, right............ ]

...Do I pass?

[dropoffs]

There is some oil waste, but you did not go over by a large margin. Too much can stray a shot, possibly straight at the ship if the arm swings too fast. Too little and the friction could cause damage to the equipment, worst case scenario we won't be able to clear debris and the ship's hull will take damage.

[ Scary, but they see the enthusiasm. ]

You pass, Callsign Number1HERO. For now.

[frotag]

Oh, cool! No pressure at all!

[ ALL PRESSURE, ACTUALLY. ]

So, how does this play into us being here? We're, what, a space clean-up crew?

[dropoffs]

... We will be reviewing everyone's work until you are all on par, but I suppose that doesn't matter if all of you will return home as soon as you can.

[ There's a feeling that they'd prefer if you all got lost, actually. ]

During downtime when we are not making our deliveries, the ship may need maintenance. Not all the time, but once in a while.

[frotag]

[ hmmm. don't like that! ]

Do you or do you not want us here?

[dropoffs]

I don't need nuisances.

[ Why should they want people who don't want to be here? Isn't it easier that way? ]

[frotag]

Lemme rephrase that—you need us here, at least for now, right? I didn't really see much in the way of extra hands before you and the other seven showed up.