[ charles, you're falling and there's nothing here to catch you. you hold onto your sword and try to glance around - you can see the others but then they are vanishing from your sight one by one, quicker than you can blink. eventually, in the dark, it's just you. reaching out with your other hand, your hand that is always so willing to give, to extend itself, to grasp tightly and form those stubborn bonds... air is slipping through your fingers. just air and darkness.
the only thing you know for certain about this fall... is that it’s long, and that it has begun to hurt. the extensive weight of it can’t be adequately put into words.
biology and time are immutable forces.
and then you open your eyes, and you are surrounded by shallow waters, they're cool waters, refreshing waters. they lap gently at your shoulders, your weary body. these waters soothe your aches and pain. (it... massages... the meat of your brain. it is pliant and soft, it is tender.) there's a warmth around you. and then, you feel it. something careful, a pair of fingertips moving a bit of hair out of your eyes. a familiar laugh. so familiar, you can forget the fall, you can forget the beast... the beast? what beast... no beastly thing...
doubt? for now... is washed away, pulled out by the lapping tide of the water. you are... calm... you are... content. with your 14... something... well. something is strange, but it flutters and flickers, it twitches away, melts. is kneaded away. you... are at peace. for now. not a doubt. feel... relief. the weight on your shoulders suddenly feels so light, lighter than air, lighter than it's been in a long time.
you can even hear your friends chattering quietly in the background. someone is prodding at arthur over something silly that gets him to reply back with his usual curt, southern tone. owner chuckles a little behind a pale hand. over your head, a familiar face peeks, her smile like a balm on all your worries. ]
Oh! There you are... [ alaune says with a kind smile. did she always look like this? yes. yes she did. there is nothing wrong. doubt may leak in, because have you ever felt this relaxed before? maybe. maybe not. not lately anyways. the doubt washes away with the water. ahh... nice... ] You're finally awake. I missed you.
[ the water feels so nice. why leave it at all?
at the end of your tag, please roll a d20 and tell me what you get. ]
[water is a double-edged sword. of course, being from the riverlands, it's practically something sacred to them. a source of vitality, the source of their prosperity. it keeps their land fertile, it brings trade to them. but the waters can hide monsters and blood, and charles has witnessed enough battles fought on the rivers and sea, either; all the deaths that have sunk into their depths.
which is this...?
something inside of him twists, before it's gone. it's easy, to feel like he's home. he can't remember feeling this light, truthfully. because the carefree "charles, the traveler" isn't a lie, per se, but even so. his true name and title are an undeniable weight on his shoulders, a neverending reminder of his duty. (one he was born with, one that was escalated at least a decade too early, but even if he had nothing to his name, it's one that he would choose over and over again of his own volition.) prodigal son of riven, guardian of light, symbol of hope for all of orsterra. (so many people have died for him or in his name, believing in that hope.)
for all that charles sincerely believes in enjoying life in the moment, rather than stressing over what-ifs of the future, and cherishing happiness as it comes—that belief stems from awareness of how grim things can be, that peace does not last unless you fight for it with all that you have. difficult to build, all too easy to destroy. it always lurks in the back of his mind.]
... Alaune.
[despite their relationship, they don't always get to spend much time together. the past months are probably some of the most consistent they've ever had. not exactly a conventional union, but it is what it is with their stations. work comes first. neither of them has ever regretted this, when they met precisely because of that mutual devotion to a better future for all.
should she be here? he's evidently not actually back in his world, given the presence of his other friends. and maybe, somewhere in the back of his mind, charles would be furious that his loved ones are used like this again and again, whether it's back home or in these rifts. distantly, none of this makes sense.
but, well. right now, in these waters—he reaches out to her in return.]
[ which one is this? the waters here lap cleanly up against your body, fresh and crisp as a few droplets fleck at your chin. it sure would be terrible, wouldn't it? for this sort of thing to be used against you? but it's not, it's absolutely not... she's real, real as the sun and the air, and the murmur of happiness behind her.
her hair is like a halo around her, beatific, kindness above all else, the ending point, the firm hand to sever the cycle of blood begetting blood begetting blood. ]
It has been quite some time since we were able to spend this kind of time together... we should steal it while we can.
[ she reaches to just place her hand, steady, against the side of your face. overhead, a few clouds gather. in the distance, a quiet rumble, a shake of the ground beneath you. it is not dangerous, your mind tells you that... but it's. strange. strange isn't it? your chest hurts just a little bit.
but alaune is here, and alanue is real as anything. so very real as she says a familiar name to you, her voice strong, but the strength flooding out in relief with strangely slightly wet eyes. ]
███████ ...
[ she looks so happy, so relieved. she looks light as a feather too, like the both of you finally can take some precious time.
[precious time—because that's what they fought for, after all. conflict after conflict, for even just a moment of peace, for themselves and for others. even if they are the losses they carry with them, the embodiment of the hopes and expectations that the world has of them; the remnants of the kingdom of ferien that tore itself apart into the nations of edoras and riven. the first in hundreds of years to truly choose peace between the two, a pivot point in history.
all they wanted was a better world for the next generation, whose lives would not have to be defined by strife. for ██████████, for the devastated nation of donescu whom charles continues to have personal investment in rebuilding, for the entire continent. they have some semblance of peace, but charles is greedy, and he wants not just calm but freedom as well. and so, he has denied others' vision of a perfect world if it deprives them all of the latter as well. if peace and freedom come with instability, then so be it if it is simply in their nature.
and so, something feels wrong about all of this, to feel so happy without a worry at all. charles has said it again and again to those here—
"In the end, all we can do is live our lives the best we can regardless."
"What kind of life is that for your, Charles?"
"Well, I'd say my wishes are simple. I want to be happy, and I want those around me to be happy as well, through the paths they choose for themselves."
"What if you don't agree with those paths?"
"Depends on how much I disagree with it, I guess. I'll fight them if I have to."
"Isn't that tiresome?"
"Sure, it is. I'd love to not have to disagree with people. But I'll keep on fighting for the future for however long I have to."
a conversation that feels so long ago, with shouxue. it's hard to remember right now, faced with alaune and this happiness, unburdened by the grief of everything that's happened.]
it's tiring, building up that which was broken. sometimes... broken things don't want to be fixed, no matter how you posit them, no matter how hard you fight for them. sometimes the broken things stay broken. but you're so stubborn charles, it's impossible to be content with that, even with your realism. you will always be fighting towards a future for all, you are the future.
it's such a heavy... heavy weight.
a crushing weight.
(it's crushing it's CRUSHING it's crushing.)
but still you persist. ]
Just a walk. The two of us.
[ alaune just takes your hand, she'll help you up from the water and just keep holding your hand so that the two of you can walk slowly along the bank of this water, this lake that seems to go on forever into the horizon. hand in hand, this peace, it'd be perfect if this could persist instead of the weight of a job never finished. peace and freedom mean different things to different people - there will always be a clash, but there will always be a choice.
and you made that choice. you chose it. that path.
Sounds nice. I did tell you that I'd watch the path you'd take, didn't I?
[a little joke, here.
he grips her hand, not too gentle, not too tight, as he gazes out at this lake. at her face, and then back at the horizon. it would be nice, if this moment could last forever. unburdened, without thinking of any grief or responsibilities.
(but out in reality, charles has never looked for a world without problems as so much one with the will to learn and recover from them. he isn't interested in having happiness defined for anyone, when his role is to make it so that everyone can decide that for themselves.)
you can't always protect what you must without losing something in the process, he'd said to arthur.
getting what you want, what you choose—it comes with some kind of price to pay.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
the only thing you know for certain about this fall... is that it’s long, and that it has begun to hurt. the extensive weight of it can’t be adequately put into words.
biology and time are immutable forces.
and then you open your eyes, and you are surrounded by shallow waters, they're cool waters, refreshing waters. they lap gently at your shoulders, your weary body. these waters soothe your aches and pain. (it... massages... the meat of your brain. it is pliant and soft, it is tender.) there's a warmth around you. and then, you feel it. something careful, a pair of fingertips moving a bit of hair out of your eyes. a familiar laugh. so familiar, you can forget the fall, you can forget the beast... the beast? what beast... no beastly thing...
doubt? for now... is washed away, pulled out by the lapping tide of the water. you are... calm... you are... content. with your 14... something... well. something is strange, but it flutters and flickers, it twitches away, melts. is kneaded away. you... are at peace. for now. not a doubt. feel... relief. the weight on your shoulders suddenly feels so light, lighter than air, lighter than it's been in a long time.
you can even hear your friends chattering quietly in the background. someone is prodding at arthur over something silly that gets him to reply back with his usual curt, southern tone. owner chuckles a little behind a pale hand. over your head, a familiar face peeks, her smile like a balm on all your worries. ]
Oh! There you are... [ alaune says with a kind smile. did she always look like this? yes. yes she did. there is nothing wrong. doubt may leak in, because have you ever felt this relaxed before? maybe. maybe not. not lately anyways. the doubt washes away with the water. ahh... nice... ] You're finally awake. I missed you.
[ the water feels so nice. why leave it at all?
at the end of your tag, please roll a d20 and tell me what you get. ]
no subject
which is this...?
something inside of him twists, before it's gone. it's easy, to feel like he's home. he can't remember feeling this light, truthfully. because the carefree "charles, the traveler" isn't a lie, per se, but even so. his true name and title are an undeniable weight on his shoulders, a neverending reminder of his duty. (one he was born with, one that was escalated at least a decade too early, but even if he had nothing to his name, it's one that he would choose over and over again of his own volition.) prodigal son of riven, guardian of light, symbol of hope for all of orsterra. (so many people have died for him or in his name, believing in that hope.)
for all that charles sincerely believes in enjoying life in the moment, rather than stressing over what-ifs of the future, and cherishing happiness as it comes—that belief stems from awareness of how grim things can be, that peace does not last unless you fight for it with all that you have. difficult to build, all too easy to destroy. it always lurks in the back of his mind.]
... Alaune.
[despite their relationship, they don't always get to spend much time together. the past months are probably some of the most consistent they've ever had. not exactly a conventional union, but it is what it is with their stations. work comes first. neither of them has ever regretted this, when they met precisely because of that mutual devotion to a better future for all.
should she be here? he's evidently not actually back in his world, given the presence of his other friends. and maybe, somewhere in the back of his mind, charles would be furious that his loved ones are used like this again and again, whether it's back home or in these rifts. distantly, none of this makes sense.
but, well. right now, in these waters—he reaches out to her in return.]
Hey. I missed you too.
[rolls a 12]
no subject
her hair is like a halo around her, beatific, kindness above all else, the ending point, the firm hand to sever the cycle of blood begetting blood begetting blood. ]
It has been quite some time since we were able to spend this kind of time together... we should steal it while we can.
[ she reaches to just place her hand, steady, against the side of your face. overhead, a few clouds gather. in the distance, a quiet rumble, a shake of the ground beneath you. it is not dangerous, your mind tells you that... but it's. strange. strange isn't it? your chest hurts just a little bit.
but alaune is here, and alanue is real as anything. so very real as she says a familiar name to you, her voice strong, but the strength flooding out in relief with
strangelyslightly wet eyes. ]███████ ...
[ she looks so happy, so relieved. she looks light as a feather too, like the both of you finally can take some precious time.
roll a d20. ]
no subject
It would be nice. We're always busy, huh?
[precious time—because that's what they fought for, after all. conflict after conflict, for even just a moment of peace, for themselves and for others. even if they are the losses they carry with them, the embodiment of the hopes and expectations that the world has of them; the remnants of the kingdom of ferien that tore itself apart into the nations of edoras and riven. the first in hundreds of years to truly choose peace between the two, a pivot point in history.
all they wanted was a better world for the next generation, whose lives would not have to be defined by strife. for ██████████, for the devastated nation of donescu whom charles continues to have personal investment in rebuilding, for the entire continent. they have some semblance of peace, but charles is greedy, and he wants not just calm but freedom as well. and so, he has denied others' vision of a perfect world if it deprives them all of the latter as well. if peace and freedom come with instability, then so be it if it is simply in their nature.
and so, something feels wrong about all of this, to feel so happy without a worry at all. charles has said it again and again to those here—
"In the end, all we can do is live our lives the best we can regardless."
"What kind of life is that for your, Charles?"
"Well, I'd say my wishes are simple. I want to be happy, and I want those around me to be happy as well, through the paths they choose for themselves."
"What if you don't agree with those paths?"
"Depends on how much I disagree with it, I guess. I'll fight them if I have to."
"Isn't that tiresome?"
"Sure, it is. I'd love to not have to disagree with people. But I'll keep on fighting for the future for however long I have to."
a conversation that feels so long ago, with shouxue. it's hard to remember right now, faced with alaune and this happiness, unburdened by the grief of everything that's happened.]
... What is that you want to do?
[rolls a 14]
no subject
it's tiring, building up that which was broken. sometimes... broken things don't want to be fixed, no matter how you posit them, no matter how hard you fight for them. sometimes the broken things stay broken. but you're so stubborn charles, it's impossible to be content with that, even with your realism. you will always be fighting towards a future for all, you are the future.
it's such a heavy... heavy weight.
a crushing weight.
(it's crushing it's CRUSHING it's crushing.)
but still you persist. ]
Just a walk. The two of us.
[ alaune just takes your hand, she'll help you up from the water and just keep holding your hand so that the two of you can walk slowly along the bank of this water, this lake that seems to go on forever into the horizon. hand in hand, this peace, it'd be perfect if this could persist instead of the weight of a job never finished. peace and freedom mean different things to different people - there will always be a clash, but there will always be a choice.
and you made that choice. you chose it. that path.
and any choice is right so long as it is willed.
one final d20. ]
no subject
[a little joke, here.
he grips her hand, not too gentle, not too tight, as he gazes out at this lake. at her face, and then back at the horizon. it would be nice, if this moment could last forever. unburdened, without thinking of any grief or responsibilities.
(but out in reality, charles has never looked for a world without problems as so much one with the will to learn and recover from them. he isn't interested in having happiness defined for anyone, when his role is to make it so that everyone can decide that for themselves.)
you can't always protect what you must without losing something in the process, he'd said to arthur.
getting what you want, what you choose—it comes with some kind of price to pay.
a 10 for the road!]