[ shoma's always been the one to use his brain to get out of tough spots. he's physically unimpressive, he's young, and the only thing he has going for him is the ability to plan and dodge.
there's no planning for this. there's no dodging this. all four of them are knocked straight into this pit...and it's the fast, tense, terrifying sensation of falling. somewhere in the dark there's a yell that's probably coming from shoma, and he tries to find something (anything) to cling to on the sides as they fall.
there's nothing. it's only the one sound of fear before he goes silent and the wind rushes around him and trying to tuck his limbs closer into himself to brace for the impact. maybe that'll help? but...you know, probably not. maybe this really is just how it ends.
...how ironic. he's finally started wanting to live, only to find himself falling and potentially never coming back from this. ]
[ shoma, you're falling and there's nothing here to catch you. you are so young, you've got so much more to live for than the inevitability of the fall, the landing, the crashing. you curl in on yourself to make yourself smaller, to brace your frame for the impact that never comes. there are a lot of things that will never arrive for you... how sad. no amount of planning can save you now because there is no plan, there is only this.
the only thing you know for certain about this fall... is that it’s long, and that it has begun to hurt. the extensive weight of it can’t be adequately put into words.
biology and time are immutable forces.
and then you open your eyes, and you are surrounded by shallow waters, they're cool waters, refreshing waters. they lap gently at your shoulders, your weary body. you breathe in deeply, and the air is pure, perfect, not a singular rancid stench to be found and you can fill your lungs without worry. you find that these waters soothe your aches and pain. (it... massages... the meat of your brain. it is pliant and soft, it is tender.) there's a warmth around you. and then, you feel it. something careful, a pair of fingertips moving a bit of hair out of your eyes. a familiar laugh. so familiar, you can forget the fall, you can forget the beast... the beast? what beast... no beastly thing...
doubt? for now... is washed away, pulled out by the lapping tide of the water. you are... calm... you are dizzily happy. with your 2... nothing is wrong. nothing at all. and you are at peace. the sun is delightful on your face, real sun, earth's sun. even being wet from the water doesn't really bother you. life suddenly feels so simple, so easy, without the weight of your worries. ]
[ to everyone's surprise (especially his own), he's alive. the weight of the fall was heavy, unbearable tough and enough to almost make him lose his breath--
--but then there's the water. he's not sure how he got here because he was sure he'd have made a splash, at least, but nothing. he doesn't sit up, reveling in the water for a moment and simply letting himself be. the water's always been something that's calmed him anyway, even if it might not seem that way. even last week, floating around and around on a little floaty asleep in the lazy river, had put him at ease.
nothing hurts, which is the other incredible thing, and his eyes are shut for the time being as he absorbs the comfort of his surroundings. there's fingers in his hair and he figures he has to swat someone away, but...
...funny. he knows this isn't normal, but there had been that entire week. he knows what she can be like when she really feels like being affectionate (and really, isn't that what he's been struggling with lately? wanting that, still, and knowing he doesn't stand a chance of getting it back.) even if this doesn't make a lot of sense, it's hard to convince himself that because everything feels calm and bright and easy. it doesn't matter that he should remind himself that it isn't real, remember that he'd just fallen a very far distance, remember he was here with four people (io included), remember that places like this like to play games. hadn't they just warned keith about this? that this place can (and will) use people they know against them. hell, he and mizuki even talked about this upon her return last week. sometimes it makes zero sense for certain people to be where you are.
so why not accept it for what it is? this is relaxing. nothing's wrong here, and even though he might normally be far more aware of how unlikely this situation is, right now everything is so easy as life's worries melt away. for once, he can feel complete peace and stop struggling under the weight of the world. he opens his eyes, and he looks at mizuki, giving her an equally cocky grin. ]
Like they wouldn't believe you didn't just push me in the first place. [ he says, and even though he knows her and knows this could be just a trick, he does lean into her hand just a touch. he hasn't even thought about the fact he's not wearing his helmet anymore given she's able to touch his hair, but...maybe he doesn't need it for this part. the water makes it easier to breathe. she makes it easier to breathe. she usually does, even with the grief she gives him by nature of being a force to be reckoned with. she's always been the one person who's treated him like a normal person, a bright spot in an abysmal existence. ] Anyway you choose to associate with me, so it's your problem now.
[ he says, with my roll of 11. ]
Edited (me realizing no i made him still too self-aware for rolling a damn 2.) 2024-04-10 05:53 (UTC)
[ weird, that you don't need your helmet here, but as soon as the "weird" sentiment is broached, it's gone, a flutter, a flicker, dust carried away by the wind. this mizuki, she feels right at home, feels just like how you left her - someone who has always treated you in a way that you have longed for, just like you.
the water laps at you gently, peaceful, soothing. it's everything perfect about this moment. even mizuki doesn't seem to mind kneeling in it, your head resting on the grass, her sitting right here with you. you lean into her touch, and her palm is warm, even through her glove, her thumb stroking your cheek. ]
Maybe I should have pushed you in.
[ her grin is sharp.
the air is cool, crisp, filling your lungs again. in and out. fresh air. better than the musk and dirt and blood and offal scent that had stained your skull not long ago (how long ago? how long?) you are a human here, you are yourself, you are nothing more than you - no one's to toy with or to tinker with, you're in control, master of your own ship, sailor of your own sea.
[ maybe he should get out of the water, but why? being wet doesn't really register to him, and mizuki's already here so the message seems to be they don't have to move. it's tempting to shut his eyes again and relax. it's tempting to let her continue stroking his face and staying this close, even if he thinks mizuki's never been delicate about a damn thing in her life but knows she's capable of being gentle.
typical grin. this is just what they do, isn't it? they banter and bitch at each other and push each other's buttons and that's how their relationship has always worked. there were so many people shoma locked out of his life, but she's always found a way to pry herself in. eventually, he stopped trying and left the door open for her. over the years, she's become one of his closest friends, a confidant, the person who knows pretty much everything about him.
"...I've made friends here. And there's people I like a lot. But you're still my favorite even though you're a huge bully."
"Well, good news! You're my favorite around too."
he's been aware that their time here is running short, because even if they're going home together and even if they live in the same city, even though he knows that she'll likely walk into his house uninvited the next day...things may not be exactly the way he wants. but right here, right now, they are.
the air is cool and refreshing and he's still not entirely sure why they're outside but he's grateful for it for the time being. he's grateful to be able to know what he's doing and have the time to zen. ]
Uh huh. All talk as usual. [ teasing. ] Nothing's stopping me from pulling you in though. Just remember that.
she moves up suddenly, getting to her feet, hands on her hips now. your head flops a little into the grass, a little wet, a little moist, but soft as any pillow. she's ankle-deep in the water with a mean little smile on her face. ]
Not if I attack first!
[ and lo, there is a kick into the water that she makes. it splashes your entire face thoroughly and for a moment the world pivots. there's a brief second of (PAIN PAIN PAIN
OH GOD OH FUCK PAIN PAIN PAIN)
and then it's gone. like it never happened. like a bad dream in a blink.
just like that it's gone. it's just water. and your brain is quiet and happy again, it's cool refreshing water and mizuki is splashing you not-so-gently, aiming to really start a fight.
she's definitely prepared to finish it, you know how she is, always playing to win. she won't go easy on you by a long shot.
[ you know i'm extra concerned that you have to emphasize moist but it's fine. mizuki's up and his entire face kind of hits the dirt. ow? or, well, it would be painful if it wasn't soft and he assumes it's wet because they were in the water. but he seems to register...well. no, now he seems to register there's something a little weird because while mizuki can be brash and strongarms her way into stuff, she's never quite mean to him.
he doesn't think too hard about it though before there's a kick of water into his face and there's a loud, sharp yelp, pain blinding him for a second as he reels back to try and get away from it. it seems to encompass him completely, almost enough to paralyze him--
--and then it's gone. he's confused even as he lets it go to write off as her joking around, but he's already finding himself prepping for another attack in the water. sometimes she just gets into these moods. but he's also not going to let her win so easily? this is yet another argument they've had on and off, her need to be right, but he takes the chance to crawl backwards from the splashing and aim a kick of water at her. ]
Seriously, is now the time?
[ meanwhile, i continue to do this poorly and have rolled a 2. ]
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no subject
there's no planning for this. there's no dodging this. all four of them are knocked straight into this pit...and it's the fast, tense, terrifying sensation of falling. somewhere in the dark there's a yell that's probably coming from shoma, and he tries to find something (anything) to cling to on the sides as they fall.
there's nothing. it's only the one sound of fear before he goes silent and the wind rushes around him and trying to tuck his limbs closer into himself to brace for the impact. maybe that'll help? but...you know, probably not. maybe this really is just how it ends.
...how ironic. he's finally started wanting to live, only to find himself falling and potentially never coming back from this. ]
no subject
the only thing you know for certain about this fall... is that it’s long, and that it has begun to hurt. the extensive weight of it can’t be adequately put into words.
biology and time are immutable forces.
and then you open your eyes, and you are surrounded by shallow waters, they're cool waters, refreshing waters. they lap gently at your shoulders, your weary body. you breathe in deeply, and the air is pure, perfect, not a singular rancid stench to be found and you can fill your lungs without worry. you find that these waters soothe your aches and pain. (it... massages... the meat of your brain. it is pliant and soft, it is tender.) there's a warmth around you. and then, you feel it. something careful, a pair of fingertips moving a bit of hair out of your eyes. a familiar laugh. so familiar, you can forget the fall, you can forget the beast... the beast? what beast... no beastly thing...
overhead, mizuki gives you her usual cocky smile.
doubt? for now... is washed away, pulled out by the lapping tide of the water. you are... calm... you are dizzily happy. with your 2... nothing is wrong. nothing at all. and you are at peace. the sun is delightful on your face, real sun, earth's sun. even being wet from the water doesn't really bother you. life suddenly feels so simple, so easy, without the weight of your worries. ]
Shoma? Hey... wakey wakey, hellllooooooo. [ mizuki needles a little bit. in the background, you can hear a couple of your friends... throné's voice having a soft conversation with amame, funny how that works - when worlds collide. they seem to be having a conversation about music... mizuki's voice chimes in from over you. the whole time, she's teasing you warmly. ] Why're you such a kluzt? Here I am trying to make you look like you fell in on purpose. I shouldn't have to bail you out like this.
[ the water feels so nice. why leave it at all?
at the end of your tag, please roll a d20 and tell me what you get. ]
no subject
--but then there's the water. he's not sure how he got here because he was sure he'd have made a splash, at least, but nothing. he doesn't sit up, reveling in the water for a moment and simply letting himself be. the water's always been something that's calmed him anyway, even if it might not seem that way. even last week, floating around and around on a little floaty asleep in the lazy river, had put him at ease.
nothing hurts, which is the other incredible thing, and his eyes are shut for the time being as he absorbs the comfort of his surroundings. there's fingers in his hair and he figures he has to swat someone away, but...
...funny. he knows this isn't normal, but there had been that entire week. he knows what she can be like when she really feels like being affectionate (and really, isn't that what he's been struggling with lately? wanting that, still, and knowing he doesn't stand a chance of getting it back.) even if this doesn't make a lot of sense, it's hard to convince himself that because everything feels calm and bright and easy. it doesn't matter that he should remind himself that it isn't real, remember that he'd just fallen a very far distance, remember he was here with four people (io included), remember that places like this like to play games. hadn't they just warned keith about this? that this place can (and will) use people they know against them. hell, he and mizuki even talked about this upon her return last week. sometimes it makes zero sense for certain people to be where you are.
but so what? it's been...weeks? no, months. no years of struggling, of trying to tread water just to stay ahead and not drown under the waves of circumstances. even if logically it should make no sense for her to be here, for amame to be here, for throné to be with her (and god, isn't that just another thing he wants? his older sister and his older sister proxy meeting and trying to remind them both they're so good and deserve the world), it doesn't matter. he's tired. he's so tired of everything all the damn time.
so why not accept it for what it is? this is relaxing. nothing's wrong here, and even though he might normally be far more aware of how unlikely this situation is, right now everything is so easy as life's worries melt away. for once, he can feel complete peace and stop struggling under the weight of the world. he opens his eyes, and he looks at mizuki, giving her an equally cocky grin. ]
Like they wouldn't believe you didn't just push me in the first place. [ he says, and even though he knows her and knows this could be just a trick, he does lean into her hand just a touch. he hasn't even thought about the fact he's not wearing his helmet anymore given she's able to touch his hair, but...maybe he doesn't need it for this part. the water makes it easier to breathe. she makes it easier to breathe. she usually does, even with the grief she gives him by nature of being a force to be reckoned with. she's always been the one person who's treated him like a normal person, a bright spot in an abysmal existence. ] Anyway you choose to associate with me, so it's your problem now.
[ he says, with my roll of 11. ]
no subject
the water laps at you gently, peaceful, soothing. it's everything perfect about this moment. even mizuki doesn't seem to mind kneeling in it, your head resting on the grass, her sitting right here with you. you lean into her touch, and her palm is warm, even through her glove, her thumb stroking your cheek. ]
Maybe I should have pushed you in.
[ her grin is sharp.
the air is cool, crisp, filling your lungs again. in and out. fresh air. better than the musk and dirt and blood and offal scent that had stained your skull not long ago (how long ago? how long?) you are a human here, you are yourself, you are nothing more than you - no one's to toy with or to tinker with, you're in control, master of your own ship, sailor of your own sea.
it jostles. barely enough for you to notice.
roll me a d20. ]
no subject
typical grin. this is just what they do, isn't it? they banter and bitch at each other and push each other's buttons and that's how their relationship has always worked. there were so many people shoma locked out of his life, but she's always found a way to pry herself in. eventually, he stopped trying and left the door open for her. over the years, she's become one of his closest friends, a confidant, the person who knows pretty much everything about him.
"...I've made friends here. And there's people I like a lot. But you're still my favorite even though you're a huge bully."
"Well, good news! You're my favorite around too."
he's been aware that their time here is running short, because even if they're going home together and even if they live in the same city, even though he knows that she'll likely walk into his house uninvited the next day...things may not be exactly the way he wants. but right here, right now, they are.
the air is cool and refreshing and he's still not entirely sure why they're outside but he's grateful for it for the time being. he's grateful to be able to know what he's doing and have the time to zen. ]
Uh huh. All talk as usual. [ teasing. ] Nothing's stopping me from pulling you in though. Just remember that.
[ take my nat 1. ]
no subject
she moves up suddenly, getting to her feet, hands on her hips now. your head flops a little into the grass, a little wet, a little moist, but soft as any pillow. she's ankle-deep in the water with a mean little smile on her face. ]
Not if I attack first!
[ and lo, there is a kick into the water that she makes. it splashes your entire face thoroughly and for a moment the world pivots. there's a brief second of (PAIN PAIN PAIN
OH GOD OH FUCK PAIN PAIN PAIN)
and then it's gone. like it never happened. like a bad dream in a blink.
just like that it's gone. it's just water. and your brain is quiet and happy again, it's cool refreshing water and mizuki is splashing you not-so-gently, aiming to really start a fight.
she's definitely prepared to finish it, you know how she is, always playing to win. she won't go easy on you by a long shot.
roll me one last d20... ]
no subject
he doesn't think too hard about it though before there's a kick of water into his face and there's a loud, sharp yelp, pain blinding him for a second as he reels back to try and get away from it. it seems to encompass him completely, almost enough to paralyze him--
--and then it's gone. he's confused even as he lets it go to write off as her joking around, but he's already finding himself prepping for another attack in the water. sometimes she just gets into these moods. but he's also not going to let her win so easily? this is yet another argument they've had on and off, her need to be right, but he takes the chance to crawl backwards from the splashing and aim a kick of water at her. ]
Seriously, is now the time?
[ meanwhile, i continue to do this poorly and have rolled a 2. ]