[Don't you just love when you can't get rid of your TB
Luke doesn't wake gracefully. He launches back into consciousness the same way he did on the Eudora--panicked and violent, overcome with guilt, regret, and pain. His heart races, his mind immediately latching onto what he'd seen before the experiments started, and he'll tear himself apart for failing to save the rest of them later. For now, far above the memories of parted flesh and flayed minds, even above the hatred and betrayal in the eyes of those that had been trapped with them--]
[How could I not pick the most married of all the LIs
Also yeah he probably would do that. The only reason he doesn't throw himself at the walls or something equally mad is because he's hit by a coughing fit that makes him curl up on his side, wracked with pain.
It's hard to breathe, but he's used to that, so he forces out a word anyway.]
[Oh yeah in the chaos of gala I forgot we're strapped to posts WELL in that case he attempts to curl up and fails, that's embarrassing. But at least it means he can just pant here as the pain subsides, his mind frantically trying to sort through all the things he remembers.
Right... he knows Dahut. This is someone he trusts. Someone he's been with for weeks--they've grown to rely on each other, but in a different way than they had at the Institute. He can trust this.
Can't he?
She's home... it wasn't real? Wasn't it? Is this?
He lifts his gaze to Dahut's face, searching for certainty.]
[HELP THAT'S SO SAD sweet Luke you fool. hits him with another post.
Anyway, he will not find 100% certainty here on account of the fact that Dahut is plagued by the exact opposite of that, but he's doing a valiant job at trying to appear certain anyway. At the very least, his memories from his life back home and the Eudora are starting to shine more and more clearly, even though the backdrop of an additional lifetime hasn't faded.]
"What's Thursday" he asks--no jk. He casts his mind back, struggling to break past his extreme otome emotions. Right... the ship. Yes. He knows Dahut from the ship. And Rosa... she's home, isn't she? Safe? So this is...
He glances at the others with them. But in thinking of them--]
[OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER PROTECTED BY SUGAR GLASS also the way this is happening a day after HER-MES lingeriegate
Dahut trails off, and Luke knows what he meant. He does. His mind is settling, kind of--doing what it must to keep Luke from going catatonic with grief and shock. But the lack of conviction, especially from Dahut, casts doubt over his thoughts.
They've spent so long together, after all. They've learned how to communicate, in a way--when to be honest, even if they occupy opposite sides of the spectrum of hope. For Dahut, so confident and often optimistic, to be this unwilling to answer him... he doesn't know, does he? They have no proof that it was them, for real. But they have no proof it wasn't.
Luke squeezes his eyes shut, feeling them burn with gathering tears.]
[NOT THE SUGAR GLASS AGAIN. MY GOD IT DOES THOUGH fucking help. We really have to live with the whiplash.
Anyway Dahut just watches as Luke shuts his eyes and all he wants to do in this moment is go over to him and give him a hug and hold his stupid little hands and let him know that everything will be fine because it always is, no matter how bad things get, but he can't summon that certainty up for himself let alone others, and he's just TRAPPED HERE USELESSLY anyway.
So instead, so softly that it's hard to hear:] Sorry...
[It's hard to hear, but fortunately, Luke's entire being is attuned to anything he's done to make people unhappy, so of course he picks up on it. The guilt is a well-worn friend, and it's enough to make him drag in a shaky breath, forcing away the images of the beloved crewmates they'd condemned.
Compartmentalize. Be professional. Focus.]
Don't be. [Dahut never asked for this. Luke is the one who couldn't protect him.] Are you hurt right now?
[UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS KIND OF HIS FAULT, HE FEELS. THEY ARE IN HIS HOME TURF. But it's fine, it's fine, he's not about to argue with Luke over something like this in this awfulass situation.
He glances down at himself, taking stock.]
--I don't think so. [His arm hasn't hit betray yet...] Are you?
[By now, Luke's probably figured that out--and hey, what funny timing for this to happen, given he was just talking about (redacted). But! That's a later Luke problem.
Right now, he can feel that ever-present ache in his lungs, because of course, even like this, he can't be freed of it.
It's a struggle to share even this much truth, especially after everything they just went through. But Dahut was the first to know, and he asks now, and even though Luke's gaze drifts over the others with them, he knows this is too important to push down.]
This is a very distracting problem to have in the here and now, though. Dahut's expression shifts into that usual quiet seriousness he has when they're discussing matters like this.]
Not the way things should be... [Not in FRESH RELIVER BODIES.] ...Something does feel wrong.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Luke doesn't wake gracefully. He launches back into consciousness the same way he did on the Eudora--panicked and violent, overcome with guilt, regret, and pain. His heart races, his mind immediately latching onto what he'd seen before the experiments started, and he'll tear himself apart for failing to save the rest of them later. For now, far above the memories of parted flesh and flayed minds, even above the hatred and betrayal in the eyes of those that had been trapped with them--]
Rosa--? Rosa--
[Sorry he's feral right now]
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Anyway this is terrible because Dahut can't even reach out but it's probably a good thing he can't reach out because Luke might deck him on reflex.]
She's not here.
[Rather, she'd never been there, he's almost entirely certain, even if memories of his life here beg to differ.]
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Also yeah he probably would do that. The only reason he doesn't throw himself at the walls or something equally mad is because he's hit by a coughing fit that makes him curl up on his side, wracked with pain.
It's hard to breathe, but he's used to that, so he forces out a word anyway.]
Where...
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Back where "home" is for you.
[HE HOPES. HE HOPES!! He's second guessing himself but he doesn't want to show it in case it makes Luke panic more.]
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Right... he knows Dahut. This is someone he trusts. Someone he's been with for weeks--they've grown to rely on each other, but in a different way than they had at the Institute. He can trust this.
Can't he?
She's home... it wasn't real? Wasn't it? Is this?
He lifts his gaze to Dahut's face, searching for certainty.]
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Anyway, he will not find 100% certainty here on account of the fact that Dahut is plagued by the exact opposite of that, but he's doing a valiant job at trying to appear certain anyway. At the very least, his memories from his life back home and the Eudora are starting to shine more and more clearly, even though the backdrop of an additional lifetime hasn't faded.]
It was Thursday, right?
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"What's Thursday" he asks--no jk. He casts his mind back, struggling to break past his extreme otome emotions. Right... the ship. Yes. He knows Dahut from the ship. And Rosa... she's home, isn't she? Safe? So this is...
He glances at the others with them. But in thinking of them--]
Eunhyuk...? [...] Viktor, Shouxue...?
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Anyway the mention of those three makes him want to curl up into a little ball, which he cannot currently do, but he's still conveying that energy.]
...They should be...
[Fine? Back in the Helly Belly getting eaten faster and larping regency rats???]
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Dahut trails off, and Luke knows what he meant. He does. His mind is settling, kind of--doing what it must to keep Luke from going catatonic with grief and shock. But the lack of conviction, especially from Dahut, casts doubt over his thoughts.
They've spent so long together, after all. They've learned how to communicate, in a way--when to be honest, even if they occupy opposite sides of the spectrum of hope. For Dahut, so confident and often optimistic, to be this unwilling to answer him... he doesn't know, does he? They have no proof that it was them, for real. But they have no proof it wasn't.
Luke squeezes his eyes shut, feeling them burn with gathering tears.]
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Anyway Dahut just watches as Luke shuts his eyes and all he wants to do in this moment is go over to him and give him a hug and hold his stupid little hands and let him know that everything will be fine because it always is, no matter how bad things get, but he can't summon that certainty up for himself let alone others, and he's just TRAPPED HERE USELESSLY anyway.
So instead, so softly that it's hard to hear:] Sorry...
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Compartmentalize. Be professional. Focus.]
Don't be. [Dahut never asked for this. Luke is the one who couldn't protect him.] Are you hurt right now?
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He glances down at himself, taking stock.]
--I don't think so. [His arm hasn't hit betray yet...] Are you?
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Right now, he can feel that ever-present ache in his lungs, because of course, even like this, he can't be freed of it.
It's a struggle to share even this much truth, especially after everything they just went through. But Dahut was the first to know, and he asks now, and even though Luke's gaze drifts over the others with them, he knows this is too important to push down.]
...Same as always.
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This is a very distracting problem to have in the here and now, though. Dahut's expression shifts into that usual quiet seriousness he has when they're discussing matters like this.]
Not the way things should be... [Not in FRESH RELIVER BODIES.] ...Something does feel wrong.
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At least that pulls him back to the present.]
With you too?
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Mm, with me, too. It's—
[Oh look here comes the 2 stooges to carry them away into hell oh my.]