like the one he used to live in, then-- but everything after the nightmare feels so far away, right now. the hope he used to cling to in his life in riven, of a better future with yuri; the liveliness and humor he clung to in his life in the city, craving it after so long spent in that awful waking dream... with all of this in his head, they're not things that he can reach. not anymore.
mostly, what he sees is the mark on his arm. he looks down at himself, unsure what he'll even find when he does, and there it is like always, tattooed there.
ungeziefer. vermin.
'you're... no different from us. in the end, we're... nothing but... disgusting pests.'
his old manager's last words echo along with the rest of it. that's how the world has always seen him, isn't it? it doesn't really matter who he is. it only sees what he is. created, invested in, trained and used and then tossed aside like he was worthless.
maybe he is. what good has he ever done in his life, anyway?]
[In Gregor's eyes, he's led a worthless life, and perhaps others around him might agree. His mental prison shows him Yuri, whom he could not help in perhaps more ways than one.
[Something about Gregor's words causes Yuri's demeanour to shift, from gentle and kind to—determined? And yet, there is something warm and familiar in her voice, if it can at all penetrate the wall Gregor's putting up.]
Idiot. I'm not leaving without you.
[And with that, she will reach out to grab Gregor's non-bug hand.]
[He doesn't fight her, and sow—with perhaps surprising strength, Yuri scoops him up, now carrying him bridal style.
If Gregor won't move on his own, it seems she's decided to do it for him. Holding onto him like this, she walks forward, through the scenes of destruction. The war wages on around them, but she continues to stride with him, steadfast.]
Gregor might feel helpless, but Yuri does not. In fact, she shifts position so that she can toss Gregor over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, freeing up a hand. Suddenly, a gun manifests in her grip, as she points it at Hermann. Speaking to Hermann, Yuri's tone is notably cold.]
Get out of the way.
[Hermann doesn't react in any particular way, her gaze flickering from Yuri to Gregor. Her tone, in contrast, is as calm and condescending as always.]
[Gregor tells Yuri to run, and yet she doesn't make a move. Instead, she keeps her gun trained on Hermann, and her tone is harsh, no-nonsense. Despite that, there is, again, something compassionate, something familiar in it—and not only because it's Yuri speaking.]
Then you need to fight too.
[Can Gregor do that?]
I can drag you to the door, but you have to walk through it yourself. So help me, and wake up.
[Meanwhile, Hermann keeps her gaze on them.]
My son, I'm waiting. I didn't invest in you to see you choose someone over me.
I never asked you to... I never asked for any of it.
[be it the nightmare or the road-
the last time he faced her, he hadn't run. it isn't fear of her; it's a resignation that always traps him. she's always held control over him, and that has never changed. things always end the same way.]
I'm not your son.
[he can still object to it. he doesn't know if he'll be able to fight, but he can at least stand.]
[If he can at least stand, then Yuri will put him down so he can prove it. Hermann turns her gaze to Yuri, seemingly gauging her as an obstacle that should be removed first—
And then, well. Apparently Yuri won't hesitate, as she promptly begins to shoot Hermann in non-vital areas, to incapacitate her.]
You can take control now! Wake up!
[Even with the bullets in her, bleeding out, Hermann tries to get up, her eyes cold and unwilling to surrender. Still, someone is here, fighting for Gregor. What will he do?]
that's a new one on him, just enough to disrupt his usual thoughts. she's fighting her, for his sake, and hermann is already bleeding and maybe-- maybe right now, he's wrong. (if he's supposed to wake up, then here, maybe if he just-)
gregor squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. breathes.
and outstretches his bug arm, directly toward her.]
[Gregor stabs Hermann with his bug arm. Unsurprisingly, she absolutely does not care for this, as she hisses, though her voice remains calm through the pain—]
Do you really think there's a future for you out there without me?
[She raises a bloody hand to the sky—and it's hard to miss the shadow that now covers Yuri and Gregor. Namely, high in the sky, a giant hand has appeared above their heads, familiar to Gregor. Yuri, perhaps shockingly, almost swears.]
Oh, sh—
[However, it's not Gregor's choice as to how to respond to this turn of events. Once again, Yuri scoops Gregor up, fleeing from the hand. As she does so, a motorcycle appears before them.]
I don't know why you think it's that easy-! How am I supposed to do that, huh?!
[excuse him a second while he just, like
pinches himself hard to see if that does anything?? isn't that what you're supposed to do? there aren't exactly instructions for waking up, he's pretty sure you just kind of do.]
[Yuri and Gregor get on the motorcycle—and Gregor might want to hold on tight, as Yuri is stepping on it. For the better, as more hands appear in the sky, either to crush them or to snatch them from the ground.]
She's not real! None of this is! You're on the ship, with Rodya, and Arthur, and Margaret— [a sharp turn with the the motorcycle interrupts her] —remember?
We can't stay in dreams—you have to get back. Focus on that.
[Does Gregor have anything to return to? If he stays here, even if tormented by his sins and traumas, he doesn't have to fear any more burdens. At least everything here is familiar, knowing how everyone sees him, knowing that others will use and discard him.
Does he want to face the real world, even knowing that it has let him down, that further misery might await him?]
[it's true, this nightmare of his is familiar. but hearing their names--
right. right, the ship. rodya, his comrade, drinking with him and pouting when he wouldn't hang out with her, but just as serious as he's ever seen her when she needs to be; even if anything too deep stays obscured with frosted glass, he's always the most comfortable in rodya's company. margaret-- he knows that dog isn't a fucking dog, margaret! it's basically an abnormality! but he's comfortable talking to her, still. she seems like she gets it in a way some others here just won't. and arthur... he's never pointed out that he doesn't correct gregor anymore when he calls him something besides his name, but he's been quietly pleased with it anyway, each time. sure, the man can be frustrating sometimes, and getting anything out of him can feel like trying to unjam a door someone's holding shut, but... he's still fond of him anyway. it's.
well, he doesn't have a name for it. he doesn't ever really think too hard about it. it feels like the urge to reach out and take someone's hand.
i've grown fond of humor. being consumed by the nightmare for so long must've made me crave liveliness.
he won't find anything like that here. he never wanted to live in the nightmare, to begin with-- he never asked for this.
[With Gregor's resolve in place, Yuri revs the engine. Ahead on the road, there's a blue flame burning; despite what instincts might dictate, Gregor will know, somehow, that that's where he should go.
And thus, Yuri speeds through the fire. Unlike what's going on with Arthur and Opal, she presumes Gregor is ready. But if he has any last thoughts, he should think them now.]
[jan i have been so serious the last several tags so i have to level with you here. the last thought he's gonna have as they speed toward that flame and head through it is almost definitely something like this better work, burning's not one of my favorite ways to go--]
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like the one he used to live in, then-- but everything after the nightmare feels so far away, right now. the hope he used to cling to in his life in riven, of a better future with yuri; the liveliness and humor he clung to in his life in the city, craving it after so long spent in that awful waking dream... with all of this in his head, they're not things that he can reach. not anymore.
mostly, what he sees is the mark on his arm. he looks down at himself, unsure what he'll even find when he does, and there it is like always, tattooed there.
ungeziefer. vermin.
'you're... no different from us. in the end, we're... nothing but... disgusting pests.'
his old manager's last words echo along with the rest of it. that's how the world has always seen him, isn't it? it doesn't really matter who he is. it only sees what he is. created, invested in, trained and used and then tossed aside like he was worthless.
maybe he is. what good has he ever done in his life, anyway?]
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She calls out to him, holding out her hand.]
It's alright. We'll get you out of here.
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[not here wherever he is, in the nightmare. she doesn't deserve that. (but she also just shouldn't be here, she died, she was gone, he couldn't--)]
Leave me, Yuri. You'll be better off.
[she'd be better off if they never met. if she never came on the mission.]
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Idiot. I'm not leaving without you.
[And with that, she will reach out to grab Gregor's non-bug hand.]
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[grabbing him like that throws him off, at least. no, no, listen to him, but--
reaching out like that, taking it on herself to take hold of him, makes it maybe a little easier to believe she means it.
he doesn't fight her.]
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If Gregor won't move on his own, it seems she's decided to do it for him. Holding onto him like this, she walks forward, through the scenes of destruction. The war wages on around them, but she continues to stride with him, steadfast.]
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[she scoops him up, carries him onward, and-- faced with this, he can't argue how serious she was about not leaving without him, can he?
it shakes him, for a minute, but when he regains a little more of his mental footing:]
-Yuri. Hey, I can...
[it's not that there's a sense of shame to it, or anything like that. just that if it's her, if she's so determined, then...
ah, he can't leave this all on her shoulders.]
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If you want to help so badly, then wake up.
[Meanwhile, in the distance amidst the warzone, Gregor can see a figure. It's Hermann, waiting for him (and Yuri now, it seems).]
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[...
he trails off, as he sees hermann, because if she's here...
if she's here, can he do anything?]
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Gregor might feel helpless, but Yuri does not. In fact, she shifts position so that she can toss Gregor over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, freeing up a hand. Suddenly, a gun manifests in her grip, as she points it at Hermann. Speaking to Hermann, Yuri's tone is notably cold.]
Get out of the way.
[Hermann doesn't react in any particular way, her gaze flickering from Yuri to Gregor. Her tone, in contrast, is as calm and condescending as always.]
Gregor. Leave that silly girl and return to me.
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but he can't-- he's never been able to escape her.]
...you should run.
[he says, quietly.]
I know you didn't want to leave alone, but she's-- if you stay, neither of us is going anywhere.
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Then you need to fight too.
[Can Gregor do that?]
I can drag you to the door, but you have to walk through it yourself. So help me, and wake up.
[Meanwhile, Hermann keeps her gaze on them.]
My son, I'm waiting. I didn't invest in you to see you choose someone over me.
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[be it the nightmare or the road-
the last time he faced her, he hadn't run. it isn't fear of her; it's a resignation that always traps him. she's always held control over him, and that has never changed. things always end the same way.]
I'm not your son.
[he can still object to it. he doesn't know if he'll be able to fight, but he can at least stand.]
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And then, well. Apparently Yuri won't hesitate, as she promptly begins to shoot Hermann in non-vital areas, to incapacitate her.]
You can take control now! Wake up!
[Even with the bullets in her, bleeding out, Hermann tries to get up, her eyes cold and unwilling to surrender. Still, someone is here, fighting for Gregor. What will he do?]
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that's a new one on him, just enough to disrupt his usual thoughts. she's fighting her, for his sake, and hermann is already bleeding and maybe-- maybe right now, he's wrong. (if he's supposed to wake up, then here, maybe if he just-)
gregor squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. breathes.
and outstretches his bug arm, directly toward her.]
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Do you really think there's a future for you out there without me?
[She raises a bloody hand to the sky—and it's hard to miss the shadow that now covers Yuri and Gregor. Namely, high in the sky, a giant hand has appeared above their heads, familiar to Gregor. Yuri, perhaps shockingly, almost swears.]
Oh, sh—
[However, it's not Gregor's choice as to how to respond to this turn of events. Once again, Yuri scoops Gregor up, fleeing from the hand. As she does so, a motorcycle appears before them.]
Keep going! Wake up!
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[excuse him a second while he just, like
pinches himself hard to see if that does anything?? isn't that what you're supposed to do? there aren't exactly instructions for waking up, he's pretty sure you just kind of do.]
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She's not real! None of this is! You're on the ship, with Rodya, and Arthur, and Margaret— [a sharp turn with the the motorcycle interrupts her] —remember?
We can't stay in dreams—you have to get back. Focus on that.
[Does Gregor have anything to return to? If he stays here, even if tormented by his sins and traumas, he doesn't have to fear any more burdens. At least everything here is familiar, knowing how everyone sees him, knowing that others will use and discard him.
Does he want to face the real world, even knowing that it has let him down, that further misery might await him?]
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right. right, the ship. rodya, his comrade, drinking with him and pouting when he wouldn't hang out with her, but just as serious as he's ever seen her when she needs to be; even if anything too deep stays obscured with frosted glass, he's always the most comfortable in rodya's company. margaret-- he knows that dog isn't a fucking dog, margaret! it's basically an abnormality! but he's comfortable talking to her, still. she seems like she gets it in a way some others here just won't. and arthur... he's never pointed out that he doesn't correct gregor anymore when he calls him something besides his name, but he's been quietly pleased with it anyway, each time. sure, the man can be frustrating sometimes, and getting anything out of him can feel like trying to unjam a door someone's holding shut, but... he's still fond of him anyway. it's.
well, he doesn't have a name for it. he doesn't ever really think too hard about it. it feels like the urge to reach out and take someone's hand.
i've grown fond of humor. being consumed by the nightmare for so long must've made me crave liveliness.
he won't find anything like that here. he never wanted to live in the nightmare, to begin with-- he never asked for this.
--he's gotta get back.]
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And thus, Yuri speeds through the fire. Unlike what's going on with Arthur and Opal, she presumes Gregor is ready. But if he has any last thoughts, he should think them now.]
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And then—]