this is what gets her gaze to break. she looks away from claude and down at her arm, and stares. moves it. it twitches. it's not her hand, it's not her arm, it's not her hand -- panic rises up in her throat. they said the procedure was a success, is this what they meant? a beat.]
I don't want this.
[it's out of her mouth before she can stop herself.]
[a gift. you have a gift, throne. you have a gift and you will learn how to use it, or else.
she swallows hard. something in her aches, but.]
... No, sir. [she says, even though something in her resists and writhes and screams at the thought of it. at the thought of calling him sir. it's not right? it isn't, but it is. he is father and Father and he isn't. sometimes she gets the two mixed up in her head.
she doesn't argue, but she's waiting. she's watching.]
Something resists, screams inside her, but... it probably would've broken down and had to give in eventually even if she tried. Right? There's nothing else to do. There's no other way out or forward. No other way to end what feels like a nightmare.
"Go ahead and begin testing," he directs them, and they nod.
They hold an apple dangling from a string before her. All she needs to do, they inform her, is reach out and pierce it with her arm.]
[there's nothing else to do. she will never be free.
she is very, very still, watching them like a predatory animal, close to baring her teeth. like a snake, rattling, showing off its colors. they hold out an apple, and she reaches out. she tries to pierce it.]
[She reaches out with the intent to pierce it, and once more, her arm responds-- but probably not how she expects. It whips forward at the end, the shape of it changing in order to stab right through the core of that apple; they murmur and take notes, as her father nods.
None of them are paying any attention to how she might feel about watching this happen.]
[she doesn't. she doesn't want to, right, she doesn't, she doesn't hurt people. she doesn't want to hurt people, she never has - she doesn't want to lick the blood off her fingers, she doesn't want to crave it.
but right now. right now, she wants to be free. she wants out.
so she shoots forward, and tries to pierce a researcher right through the heart.]
[When she shoots forward and pierces them-- they bleed, yes, but something almost seems to shift around them. Like doing this almost, but not quite, breaks something.
The other researcher shouts in alarm, backing away. Her father still wears an unpleasant smile.
"I wasn't going to try you on living targets just yet, but... no real loss."]
[well she can't cut her arm off with her own arm so this is USELESS to me
it's fine. she's going to try to rip the arm off anyway, break it against the wall, against the floor, stand on it and pull. however she can, not making a sound, staring claude directly in the eye.]
[you have not played octopath so you don't know how symbolically accurate this is, but. boy howdy.
by the end, she's gasping, dripping blood, dizzy with the pain - and then it just... grows back. it just comes back, and she watches it happen with an amount of despair that she can't contain.
the fact that you're alive is proof that you're the best of them all. your journey was all part of the process... my little seed.
she looks at him. and she just - screams, just lets out a noise that is absolutely devastated.]
[She throws herself at him, and he looks at her in shock as her arm contorts and shoots right through him, blood leaking from the hole she's just pierced in his body.
He takes in a breath. He laughs.
And as he dies, something shifts again. She's cracked something, by killing him, and golden light seeps through those cracks; they open further, light growing brighter, until it blinds her too much for her to see.
But she hears the door open. The warmth will guide her forward.]
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this is what gets her gaze to break. she looks away from claude and down at her arm, and stares. moves it. it twitches. it's not her hand, it's not her arm, it's not her hand -- panic rises up in her throat. they said the procedure was a success, is this what they meant? a beat.]
I don't want this.
[it's out of her mouth before she can stop herself.]
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It doesn't matter if she never asked for this, never wanted it. His smile is sharp when he continues.
"Surely you wouldn't want to reject a gift, anyway?"]
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she swallows hard. something in her aches, but.]
... No, sir. [she says, even though something in her resists and writhes and screams at the thought of it. at the thought of calling him sir. it's not right? it isn't, but it is. he is father and Father and he isn't. sometimes she gets the two mixed up in her head.
she doesn't argue, but she's waiting. she's watching.]
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Something resists, screams inside her, but... it probably would've broken down and had to give in eventually even if she tried. Right? There's nothing else to do. There's no other way out or forward. No other way to end what feels like a nightmare.
"Go ahead and begin testing," he directs them, and they nod.
They hold an apple dangling from a string before her. All she needs to do, they inform her, is reach out and pierce it with her arm.]
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she is very, very still, watching them like a predatory animal, close to baring her teeth. like a snake, rattling, showing off its colors. they hold out an apple, and she reaches out. she tries to pierce it.]
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None of them are paying any attention to how she might feel about watching this happen.]
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they murmur. they take notes. she thinks about what it would be like to pierce them with the arm. take notes on that, you bastards.
she stares at claude.]
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but right now. right now, she wants to be free. she wants out.
so she shoots forward, and tries to pierce a researcher right through the heart.]
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The other researcher shouts in alarm, backing away. Her father still wears an unpleasant smile.
"I wasn't going to try you on living targets just yet, but... no real loss."]
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a sharpened knife. a tool. how does it feel to cut through my flesh? does it feel like your hands were destined for this?
she takes a step away, back. brings the arm up to her own chest, like she's going to - like she's going to...
she doesn't.]
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He watches her with that same challenging look, while the remaining researcher cowers.
There is blood running down her arm, warm.
"But you can't, can you? Just like you can't kill me."]
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I can. I... [did? didn't she?] I will be free.
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The blood drips, and spatters the floor next to the sliced-up apple with red.
"It's pointless, you know."]
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how strong is she right now? any stronger than usual? or is it just the arm that's changed?]
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it's fine. she's going to try to rip the arm off anyway, break it against the wall, against the floor, stand on it and pull. however she can, not making a sound, staring claude directly in the eye.]
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He smiles again.
Then she finds out why, as it regenerates and grows anew right from the point where she tore it free.]
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by the end, she's gasping, dripping blood, dizzy with the pain - and then it just... grows back. it just comes back, and she watches it happen with an amount of despair that she can't contain.
the fact that you're alive is proof that you're the best of them all. your journey was all part of the process... my little seed.
she looks at him. and she just - screams, just lets out a noise that is absolutely devastated.]
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"Now do you understand? You won't try that again, will you."]
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He takes in a breath. He laughs.
And as he dies, something shifts again. She's cracked something, by killing him, and golden light seeps through those cracks; they open further, light growing brighter, until it blinds her too much for her to see.
But she hears the door open. The warmth will guide her forward.]