Isn't that the important part? Enjoying what you can. [ he would teach her chopsticks for the novelty. he picks up on those pops though and he isn't sure what to make of it, curiosity reflecting back at her like he's a dumb bitch who doesn't know why she'd be concerned. it is because he is a dumb bitch. ]
Less exciting or not...it was still something to worry about. I trust Artemy to know what he's doing, but surgery's still a big deal. The mission was just...pretty bad. I will admit that. It was actually pretty awful.
[ he is still missing an eye and covered in healing burns. but he hums faintly to that.]
Is it rude to ask what exactly you are then? I know about your circumstances, but I've never really thought about how that might be different.
Is that what's bothering you? [ Just doxxes that she read his emotions earlier. ] If you want to complain about your awful trip, I'm all ears!
[ But she gets not wanting to. You guys really out here getting physical injuries and losing parts. She just has to trust you guys take care of yourselves. ]
I don't think it's rude. I'm sure you're all a bit curious—it's too bad I don't really know the answer... I never died a normal way. I kept existing. I definitely was not and am not alive.
[ he looks faintly surprised...and then he just lets out a small, amused sort of sigh. it's not really amused, more like "of course." ]
That's part of it, yeah. It was kind of a huge nightmare, and maybe I should have said no but I wouldn't have felt right if I did. [ and now here he is, dealing with that. ] ...it's dumb to be bothered about things when we have a lot of other things going on, and when we just achieved a huge win last week over the weekend. Especially when those things are my own fault.
[ which is more honest than he usually is with these things, but it's amalthea so he minds a lot less. he's eating his noodles and he's considering what she says, puzzling it out like he can put a name to it. ]
...there's this famous thought experiment back in our world called Schrodinger's Cat. It's basically the idea that something can be in two states at once until it's observed. It's called Schrodinger's Cat because it centers around the idea of imagine that a cat's inside a box with something that can kill it. But, you don't know what its state is because the box is closed. Until you really look at it, the cat is both alive and dead at the same time. I think maybe you're kinda like Schrodinger's Maid. In the physical sense, you are very much not alive. But at the same time, you are, because the answer behind what happened to you is still a mystery that hasn't really been looked into. [ ... ] Also you're definitely not a ghost. It's like you got trapped in a paradox.
... I know how you feel. The storms are scary and I'm not combat-oriented like other senior officers, but it wouldn't feel right to say no and have someone else take your place. [ And suffer the horrors. ] I don't think it's dumb. It's not like you can control how you feel—you can't control events, either.
[ She's the type to lean more on emotions than logic, after all. Not fucking Shoma trying to explain quantum physics to her. She used to be a merchant's daughter, but that doesn't help here.
For the most part, she understands, but... ]
I'm cold. Like a corpse.
[ She's wondering if this will help Shoma figure out an answer for her?? ]
Yeah, see? You get it. As much as I wish I could control things...it's just one of the things I've been learning here. I can't always make things work the way I want them to. I have to let people help and deal with the aftermath of my choices.
[ i am sorry he is a fucking nerd. so he considers this...
and holds out a hand for hers? why does he think a temperature check will help. ]
To let people help... That's a good lesson! Plenty of people are not going to learn that, which is a little sad. [ knives, vash, all of our self-sacrificial losers ] Choices are still important to make, even if we can't always control fate.
[ She's so nosy and it's enough to get her killed, honestly. I want to ask him what he's talking about... And she's trying to find the words.
A temperature check WILL NOT add to anything, but she offers her hand. If does feel like a dead body. ]
[ cool. now he's just holding a corpse hand. this means nothing. ]
Plenty of people won't, and even the people who have may not always remember it. [ him. he's people. ] But I think the ability to have a choice is...probably more important than most things anyway. I might be biased though.
[ but he hears that thought...and there's a faint huff. ]
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no subject
Less exciting or not...it was still something to worry about. I trust Artemy to know what he's doing, but surgery's still a big deal. The mission was just...pretty bad. I will admit that. It was actually pretty awful.
[ he is still missing an eye and covered in healing burns. but he hums faintly to that.]
Is it rude to ask what exactly you are then? I know about your circumstances, but I've never really thought about how that might be different.
no subject
Is that what's bothering you? [ Just doxxes that she read his emotions earlier. ] If you want to complain about your awful trip, I'm all ears!
[ But she gets not wanting to. You guys really out here getting physical injuries and losing parts. She just has to trust you guys take care of yourselves. ]
I don't think it's rude. I'm sure you're all a bit curious—it's too bad I don't really know the answer... I never died a normal way. I kept existing. I definitely was not and am not alive.
It's weird.
no subject
That's part of it, yeah. It was kind of a huge nightmare, and maybe I should have said no but I wouldn't have felt right if I did. [ and now here he is, dealing with that. ] ...it's dumb to be bothered about things when we have a lot of other things going on, and when we just achieved a huge win last week over the weekend. Especially when those things are my own fault.
[ which is more honest than he usually is with these things, but it's amalthea so he minds a lot less. he's eating his noodles and he's considering what she says, puzzling it out like he can put a name to it. ]
...there's this famous thought experiment back in our world called Schrodinger's Cat. It's basically the idea that something can be in two states at once until it's observed. It's called Schrodinger's Cat because it centers around the idea of imagine that a cat's inside a box with something that can kill it. But, you don't know what its state is because the box is closed. Until you really look at it, the cat is both alive and dead at the same time. I think maybe you're kinda like Schrodinger's Maid. In the physical sense, you are very much not alive. But at the same time, you are, because the answer behind what happened to you is still a mystery that hasn't really been looked into. [ ... ] Also you're definitely not a ghost. It's like you got trapped in a paradox.
no subject
[ She's the type to lean more on emotions than logic, after all. Not fucking Shoma trying to explain quantum physics to her. She used to be a merchant's daughter, but that doesn't help here.
For the most part, she understands, but... ]
I'm cold. Like a corpse.
[ She's wondering if this will help Shoma figure out an answer for her?? ]
no subject
[ i am sorry he is a fucking nerd. so he considers this...
and holds out a hand for hers? why does he think a temperature check will help. ]
no subject
[ She's so nosy and it's enough to get her killed, honestly. I want to ask him what he's talking about... And she's trying to find the words.
A temperature check WILL NOT add to anything, but she offers her hand. If does feel like a dead body. ]
no subject
Plenty of people won't, and even the people who have may not always remember it. [ him. he's people. ] But I think the ability to have a choice is...probably more important than most things anyway. I might be biased though.
[ but he hears that thought...and there's a faint huff. ]
Whatever you want to ask you may as well ask.